One Week Down: Cursing at Boyfriend, Diet Coke, and Pounds Lost...

At the end of today I will have been on my diet for exactly one week. While I am happy... well ecstatic I have made it through one week, it has been excruciatingly hard. Here’s how the past week has run down.

Day 1: I AM STARVING!!! Literally I went to bed that night and I dreamt about food. In my dream my family and I were moving from one house to another, but instead of driving or flying we were walking. Yeah, just like we were out for a stroll in the woods, except we were walking to a new house and following us were 500 men carrying all of our household goods. It was cold and rainy and we were walking through some giant forest hoping to make it to our new home before school started for me and my sister (although we looked our respectable 20 something age for some reason we would be back in grade school), and all I could think about in my dream was, “Man, I’m in the mood for peanut butter. Like if all of the sudden some peanut butter popped up over there on that fallen tree stump I would be all over that. But wait. Crap. Can I eat peanut butter? Is that allowed on my diet? Oh, I hope I can eat peanut butter…” Yeah, it had been one day people and I was so deprived of food I was dreaming about the crunchy, creamy goodness that is Jif Extra Chunky. And the last time I ate peanut butter… probably like 4 years ago. FML.

Day 2: This happened after dinner that night.

Me: (to myself) “I’m still hungry. I’m going to eat a Laughing Cow Cheese wedge (LOVE THEM!)."

Boyfriend (hearing the fridge open): “What are you getting?”

Me: “Just a little Cheese for dessert.”

Boyfriend: “Let me have a bite.”

Me (stopping mid-stride while walking back to the couch): “Are you fucking for real?”

Boyfriend (looking around nervously): “Um, yeah…”

Me: “This is my dessert! Do you realize that?!?! This is all I get! You can go in there and eat sour cream and onion potato chips till you burst or Oreo cookies with milk, WHOLE MILK!!! But, for me this tiny little wedge of cheese is all I get! Fuck you. You cannot have a bite of my cheese!!!”

Boyfriend: “Geez, all I wanted was a bite.”

Me: "Get your own!"

Boyfriend: “I don’t want my own I just want a bite of yours.”

Me: “Hell no, buddy.”

Then I gave him a tiny bite out of guilt because I yelled at him. And if I yell at Boyfriend I feel like the diet wins. And, the diet can not win...

Day 4: Day 4 was my first day going to a restaurant while on the diet. I did okay. I ordered a salad and gave away the quesadilla-like breed that came with. It did, however, have corn on it and corn is a no- no. My bad. The big thing that started on day 3 was the craving for Diet Coke. Background info here… I’m not a “soda person”. I used to drink them when I was younger and then my parents stopped buying as many so I stopped drinking them. They weren’t a hard thing to give up. I probably drink 10 to 15 Cokes a year. As much as I’m not a “soda person” I am totally, 100% an unsweetened ice tea person. I crave it. I rate restaurants by how good their tea tastes. I ask boyfriend to pick it up for me if he is coming home. I can down gallons of the stuff. Since I’ve started this diet I think I have only had it once. All I want is Diet Coke. Now, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that I’ve completely cut carbs and sugar out of my diet and my cravings are making up for the lack of sugar in something else. I get it. I get it that my brain is tricking me. You know what; I’m so okay with that.

On Saturday Ted came over to pick up Boyfriend. The very first thing he did was get some ice out of the freezer and pour a Diet Coke into a plastic glass. The entire time I’m doing some cleaning in the house and carrying on polite conversation but in my mind I’m thinking this, “How dare you bring Diet Coke into my house and not bring me one you horrible excuse for a human being!!! Give me the Coke!!! Must take the Coke!!!” Yet, out loud I’m saying this, “Yeah, Caddyshack is one of my favorite 80’s films. Well, minus the character Maggie. I F-ing hate Maggie!!!” As soon as I had the chance I drove to the corner store and bought a Diet Coke.

Day 4 (nighttime): That night I went out to eat again. LSU Friend, Cupcake, and I all went to Hide Park Grill. Hide Park is known for one thing. It’s so well known for this one thing that the sign in front to the building is a fork spearing this magnificent dish. French Fries. Not just any French Fries, these have been dipped in buttermilk before they are fried and they are served with a Chipotle Mayonnaise! They take me back to eating Belgium Fries while shopping in Germany. They are nostalgic, yummy goodness and I love them. But I could not eat them.

However, I did order their salmon with green beans and broccoli. I specifically wanted to order the salmon because I wanted leftovers to make this recipe I found on the website Kalyn’s Kitchen. This website is amazing! Check it out to learn all about her, but long story short a few years ago she lost a whole lotta weight using South Beach and now she has a great blog sharing her favorite recipes she has created and modified from other cookbooks and websites to be South Beach friendly. They are so good! I’ve made White Chili with Chicken and Breakfast Egg Muffins which I dip in salsa to get my kinda breakfast taco fix. (Because OMG have I been going through breakfast taco withdraws. I mean addictions are hard to break.) I’ve also done Shrimp with Dijon Mustard sauce which Boyfriend loved as well, and another chili. Thank you Kalyn. Thank you internet.

Tonight will mark one week down on my journey to a skinnier Lemon Lady.

Things I’ve learned…

Diet Coke – good
Picture of brownies on a blog I read – bad
Laughing Cow Cheese with everything – good
Listening to Boyfriend munch on chips – bad
Snacking at work – good
Not drinking – bad
Losing 4 pounds in a week – good
Going to Baton Rouge and New Orleans on Thursday – well that could be bad but I’m going to try my best…