Fuck the bearded men. This post is not about them.
This post is about the loves in my life, and writing them love letters.
Dear Michelle,
I honestly believe you might know me better than I know myself. Or at least you say to me the things I might be thinking way deep down inside my gut, but I would never admit them out loud. But you say them, and for some crazy reason I really listen. I hope you know that. I value your opinion more than anyone else's. You don't hand out approval just because, which is why when you are happy or sad or frustrated or in some other mood I always know it's real and you're being honest. You are fiercely loyal to me. I've been burned in the past by "best friends" and your loyalty to always being on my side does not go unnoticed. You will stand up for me and defend me and only later when I've calmed down or the other person has left and gone will you rationally talk about what the true confrontation was about. As ridiculous as we think our lives are and can get, you are a great positive and stable force in my life and I only hope I'm that as well for you.
Love,
Elaine
Dear Jennifer,
I know this might sound weird, but I'm so glad that you like me. That's a lie. I'm not just glad that you like me, I'm glad that you've been such a good friend from the very beginning. Two years ago, when my life changed dramatically, you have no idea how good and wonderful it felt that you quickly began to include me in everything. And then is was just this awesome bonus that we also became such good friends. I love that our friendship grew out of so many delicious brunches, and girls' nights with cheese, and Vegas! You are an amazing listener and a rare person who understands the difference between sympathy and empathy. It drives me crazy when people say "I understand" when no, they don't understand because they're not in my position, and you have never done this. I love that you seem to take everything life throws at you like a challenge. Anything! It could be to find the best cheese plate in town or make a serious life decision about jobs or relationships and FUCK - you're going to do it and do it well!
Love,
Elaine
Dear Sarah,
You are like my second sister. Expect without the children - thank God. :) I think it was the whole living together thing. I mean if you can look past the faults we all show as roommates and still want to be best friends with me, that's pretty awesome. You are such a loving and giving friend. You are the one that is always there to help with my dog, or when I'm broke, or when I need a ride somewhere at 4AM. You will help until you have nothing else to give or say or do and I hope I'm the same type of friend to you. Also, I mean you're effing SARAH FROM TEJAS!!! How could I not adore you? You are the most fun ever! Whether is sitting braless on your couch drinking wine and watching the Investigation Channel or getting fancy and partying it up somewhere, I always want to be around you. When life sucks you are there for me to make me laugh. When life is awesome, you are still there for me to make me laugh. As much as I look back on my job at Pet Relocation and shutter, I can't completely hate them because I'm so glad that we met and you came with me to that boat party and that we've been besties ever since.
Love,
Elaine
There are so many other amazing women in my life, beyond these three who I spend most my time with.
Adrianne - I adore and envy your complete sense of self and the way you embrace being a smart sophisticated women and completely immature. Nothing makes me laugh more than watching your eyes light up when talking about a new fast food treat or a joke that usually only an 8 year old boy would laugh at.
Maria - Thank you for being my oldest friend. It's weird because we have grown apart in the years, and yet now I think we are even more honest with each other. It's like (and I can't believe I'm about to say this) we've become adults together. I will never not value your input as one of the smartest people I know.
Lyndsey - You amaze me. You have grown so much over the many years we have been friends. Now that you don't live in Texas, it's like every time I see you, you are a better version of yourself. Much like Jen, I'm in awe of your ability to set your mind to something and chase after it. Central Market and wine nights with the girls are just not the same without you.
Love,
Elaine
Dear Jennifer,
I know this might sound weird, but I'm so glad that you like me. That's a lie. I'm not just glad that you like me, I'm glad that you've been such a good friend from the very beginning. Two years ago, when my life changed dramatically, you have no idea how good and wonderful it felt that you quickly began to include me in everything. And then is was just this awesome bonus that we also became such good friends. I love that our friendship grew out of so many delicious brunches, and girls' nights with cheese, and Vegas! You are an amazing listener and a rare person who understands the difference between sympathy and empathy. It drives me crazy when people say "I understand" when no, they don't understand because they're not in my position, and you have never done this. I love that you seem to take everything life throws at you like a challenge. Anything! It could be to find the best cheese plate in town or make a serious life decision about jobs or relationships and FUCK - you're going to do it and do it well!
Love,
Elaine
Dear Sarah,
You are like my second sister. Expect without the children - thank God. :) I think it was the whole living together thing. I mean if you can look past the faults we all show as roommates and still want to be best friends with me, that's pretty awesome. You are such a loving and giving friend. You are the one that is always there to help with my dog, or when I'm broke, or when I need a ride somewhere at 4AM. You will help until you have nothing else to give or say or do and I hope I'm the same type of friend to you. Also, I mean you're effing SARAH FROM TEJAS!!! How could I not adore you? You are the most fun ever! Whether is sitting braless on your couch drinking wine and watching the Investigation Channel or getting fancy and partying it up somewhere, I always want to be around you. When life sucks you are there for me to make me laugh. When life is awesome, you are still there for me to make me laugh. As much as I look back on my job at Pet Relocation and shutter, I can't completely hate them because I'm so glad that we met and you came with me to that boat party and that we've been besties ever since.
Love,
Elaine
There are so many other amazing women in my life, beyond these three who I spend most my time with.
Adrianne - I adore and envy your complete sense of self and the way you embrace being a smart sophisticated women and completely immature. Nothing makes me laugh more than watching your eyes light up when talking about a new fast food treat or a joke that usually only an 8 year old boy would laugh at.
Maria - Thank you for being my oldest friend. It's weird because we have grown apart in the years, and yet now I think we are even more honest with each other. It's like (and I can't believe I'm about to say this) we've become adults together. I will never not value your input as one of the smartest people I know.
Lyndsey - You amaze me. You have grown so much over the many years we have been friends. Now that you don't live in Texas, it's like every time I see you, you are a better version of yourself. Much like Jen, I'm in awe of your ability to set your mind to something and chase after it. Central Market and wine nights with the girls are just not the same without you.
Just writing this has been extremely therapeutic. It's been an odd few months for me. This past summer I decided I was ready for a relationship again, and (just like any thing in my life) once I made up my mind about something I was not going to stop until I obtained my goal - even if that goal was huge, like falling in love. I haven't succeeded. Yet, at some point I have to stop and take a step back. My life is pretty fucking awesome. I have a great job. I have a good house. My dog is adorable and I love him. My family will always support me. And my friends are amazing. Seriously, I've waited my entire life to have friends like I do now. I might not have someone to come home to every night (well besides George Michael) but I would not give up the intense love I feel from my friends for the love of some guy with a beard. Not ever.
