New Year's Resolutions: The Good, The Bad, and the "Are My Thighs That Ugly"?

Wow.

Loyal Lemon readers may I just say, “My bad”.

I meant to take off a few days for Christmas while I was in San Antonio with the fam. I did not mean to be MIA for 15 days!!! The day before I was scheduled to head home and the day before my birthday, I got sick and I lived off a supreme mixture of DayQuil, NyQuil, and ChexMix until two days ago. (That is minus the two beers and half a pitcher of Margaritas I had on my birthday and the glass of Champaign on New Year’s Eve.) But, I’m better now. I’m back into the normal work, blog, eat, sleep, be amused by Boyfriend routine.

Let’s talk the New Year!

Hello 2011!

First of all, question… What do we call 2011? In the 90’s (can you believe they were over ten years ago?!?!) we said, “95” or “99”. Then in the 2000s it was, “03” or “07”. I kept up the “oh” years and always called 2010, “oh10”. But, “oh11” sounds weird. But then so does just 11, and who wants to take the time to say, “2011”? I’ll tell you who doesn't, the Lady who just spent 10 minutes writing about it, that’s who.

A lot of blogs I read have dealt with resolutions. Sister over at Tales of the Mouse, wrote them out in a neat list and then informed all her readers that although the look, sound, and maybe smell just like New Year’s Resolutions, they are in fact not resolutions, but just things she would like to accomplish in the new year. Right… Sis… New Friend A (who writes A Dash of Perspective) doesn’t believe in resolutions, but she has a whole list of things she wants to change or start doing in the New Year. Again, that sounds a whole lot like a resolution, but since I don’t know her as well as Sister, I’ll let it slide.

Here are my bold, boring, in your face 2011 Resolutions…

1. Lose Weight. I know, I know, way to be original Lemon Lady… but the truth is I REALLY NEED TO! In a few weeks I’m going on a quick little road trip to Baton Rouge with LSU Friend, Cupcake, and another friend of ours. We will be attending a Mardi Gras Ball (which wow that spelling looks weird, but I Googled it and that is how you spell Mardi Gras…) where I will be required, like LSU Friend is really twisting my arm, to dress up in a long gown. Now, I already have such a dress from a wedding I attended a few years ago, but I couldn’t resist going to Nordstroms the other day and trying on dresses. Um, the point of this story is I had to try on a dress with an obscenely large number on the tag. Now, I know you should dress in clothes that fit and not sizes you wish you could fit you fat ass into and I’ve always thought people who couldn’t just look at how pretty they were in the clothes and not what size the clothes are, were crazy. That is until I saw that number sewn into the back of that beautiful royal blue dress and I realized that under those light air chiffon layers were a stomach bulge bigger than I’ve ever had a fat thighs.

So, Lose Weight… I can’t really decide on a goal number of pounds to shed, so I’m taking baby steps. Today I started the South Beach Diet and “like totally for real this time”. I tried South Beach a few months ago, but stopped when I really wanted a Spice Chicken Sandwich from Chick-A-Filet and then fries and then maybe fried pickles that night at the movies… My first goal is to just make it through the first two weeks, which are the crazy “if you even look at a carb you are cheating YOU WEAK PIECE OF SCUM” weeks. Baby Steps. I will also be at least walking (hopefully running sometime soon) 4 times a week. I don’t work until 11 AM two days a week and I am usually off early on Friday, so I don’t think this should be a huge deal… Think being the key word there…

2. Save more money. This one is pretty simple. I make a pretty good living and don’t have children or student loans or huge credit card payments, so I should have more money in the bank.

3. Start a book journal. I read a lot and my wonderful mother has inspired me to keep a journal of books I read. She started hers last year, and after looking through it I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner. All mom does is write the title and author, a sentence or two on the plot, and then she grades the book on a 1 to 3 stars system. Genius. I will probably write more about the book than my mom (I can’t resist with all the cool new pens I got in my stocking) but I like her 1,2, or 3 star rankings. Oh, and I already finished a book, and it was awesome so I can start in a high note!

4. Find and buy a calendar mouse pad. Last year an organization that works with my company gave us calendar mouse pads and I loved mine! And I used mine! And it was awesome… but alas… it was only for the oh10, so I keep looking at it and it’s completely useless and I’m starting to hate it and my dependency on it!!! So keep your eyes peeled and let me know if you see one, so I can make my work-self happy again.