A Really Funny Story: Poker and a Random Visitor...

I was called a loser on Friday night by my sister for being young and having no children and yet, still being at home on a Friday night. So, on Saturday Boyfriend and I decided to hang out with some friends after his birthday dinner at Paggi House (which I’ll write about later).

Here is what happened…

Boyfriend and I went over to Caliman’s house to play poker. I have been playing poker ever since Old Roommate and Davis Girl taught me and I really like it. I like the strategy and trying to read people, but more I just like sitting around a table with friends, drink beer, winning money, and getting excited over card hands. We go through cycles of playing a lot, then not playing for a while. We usually don’t play in the summer because we are always playing water volleyball.

Players at the Table…

Caliman: We usually play at his house because he has a round table for cards and darts and foosball to entertain us during breaks. He is loud and crazy and fun as hell.

Joe: Joe is very serious about cards, which cracks the rest of us up. He is also the owner to the chips and therefore a vital player to the game. Also, I have never seen him enter Caliman’s house for card without some sort of sandwich (usually Thundercloud).

Creepy Dan: Creepy Dan’s real name is John. An ex girlfriend started calling him Creepy and just recently, for some reason that I don’t know, the Dan has been added. He is an architect and an avid believer in conspiracy theories. Yes, Creepy Dan, we all know 9/11 was an inside job.

Sheriff: This guy might be the most competitive person I’ve ever met. Ever. He is also a big Longhorn fan and writes for various sports blogs and websites. Yeah, Saturday and the big lose at home to Iowa State meant he was not in a good mood.

Boyfriend: You all know about him.

Me: Ditto.

So, we all sat around the card table and played poker and drank beer. Creepy Dan lost his money twice. I swear Joe was hiding chips from my view on purpose. Boyfriend and Sheriff were arguing about the NFL’s hitting rules. Caliman was trying to get everyone to double his short stack. We saw Four of a Kind (jacks) play and win against an “almost” Royal Flush. It was a good game. We started playing at around 8:30 and come 12:30 we were all about done. Caliman and Creepy Dan were both out of the game and re-lighting the grill in the back yard because they wanted more sausages. The rest of us were just about to cash in our chips when there was a knock on the front door.

“Knock! Knock! Knock!”

I can’t speak for the rest of them, but in my mind I could fathom who would be pounding on the front door so late. Just as I was about to get up and go see who it was, the door opened and in walked a girl. Yeah, she knocked three times on a door with no outside light on at 12:30 at night AND THEN WALKED RIGHT IN! She was about my height and probably in her early 30s. She had taken about five steps in Caliman’s house before she looked up and saw us (about five more steps away) sitting around the table staring at her.

Random Girl Who Just Entered Through the Front Door: “Um, hi. Is this Edwin’s house?”

As y’all know, I do embarrassing things all the time. My heart immediately felt horrible for this girl. I would be mortified if I walking into a stranger’s house at 12:30 at night, asking for some dude named Edwin. Just as I am opening my mouth to break the bad news to this poor creature, Boyfriend speaks up…

Wait for it...

Boyfriend: “Yeah, sure. He’s out back.”

A look of relief spread onto the girl’s face and she quickly walked forward into the dining area with the table we were playing at. I quickly snapped to attention after Boyfriend’s inviting yet completely false words and introduced myself and everyone else at the table. Hellos were exchanged around the table. He name was June. June then noticed the kitchen next to us and, just like she was at home or at a friend’s house, walked up to the fridge and add the beer she had brought for Edwin’s party.

Boyfriend: “So June, how do you know our buddy Edwin?”

June: “Oh, we work together at Chuys”

Chuys is a local Mexican restaurant with amazing creamy jalapeño dip. The dip isn’t relevant, but I thought y’all should know just in case you are ever in Austin. In my mind I’m thinking, “awesome now we have a hook up at Chuys”.

Boyfriend: “Oh, we love Chuys. Right…”

Me, Joe, and Sheriff: “Oh, yeah. Right. Love it.”

Boyfriend: “How has your day been going, June?”

June: “Well this morning I was driving to work and at a stop sign I looked over and in the car next to me was a man with a cape and his girl friend complimented my earrings. Yeah, I saw a superhero and his girlfriend just driving down the street.”

This started a five minute conversation about what superheroes did on their days off. We concluded that they were probably going to get pancakes and then go to the post office and to fly just seemed like a hassle and would get them to much unwanted attention.

(Remember we have never met this person and we don’t know Edwin and he sure as hell isn’t in Caliman’s backyard where Boyfriend told her he was.)

June: “So you said Edwin’s out back?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, he’s lighting up the grill. Did you bring any steaks to eat?”

June: “Nah, no steaks just beer.”

Boyfriend: (getting up out of his chair) “Come on I’ll show you to the backyard.”

And then they both walked out of the dining room, though the kitchen, and into the backyard where Caliman and Creepy Dan are lighting the grill and where there is no Edwin.

Me, Sheriff, and Joe: (still around the table) “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!”

Seriously, I don’t remember the last time I laughed this hard. I had tears in my eyes. Joe was as red as a tomato, and Sheriff had to cover his face with his hat. About two minutes later Boyfriend, Caliman, Creepy Dan, and June walked back into the house. Evidently her friend Edwin lives just down the street at an address that is similar to Caliman’s. She invited us all to go with her and I’m glad she could laugh at the situation. Again, I would have been mortified! She was cool about. She laughed with us and took her beer out of the fridge but shared some before she left. We were grateful as we had ran out 2 hours before her arrival.

I hope to run into her one day at Chuys and I hope she remembers me as being a part of those people who lied to her about her friend living in that house she once broke into late on Saturday night looking for some mysterious person named Edwin.