Christmas is right around the corner and I am really, really excited. First of all I don’t care what any of y’all say, no one does Christmas better than my family. The day is full of eating, presents, eating, hanging out together, eating, football, eating, having fun, and eating some more. Plus, this is an even year meaning Sister and Brother in Law will be with us for the holidays. Then, to add icing to the cake, Boyfriend will be coming to Christmas with my family for the very first time. Yeah… I kinda excited.
So, because Boyfriend will be with my family for Christmas morning they have been asking me for ideas of what to get him in his presents under the tree and what he would want in his stocking. I told him last week that over the weekend he needed to sit down and make a list. I went to see my parents in San Antonio this past weekend and when I came home on Sunday and asked him about his list he told me that I should just give them some stores and gift card ideas, because he didn’t want to demand gifts and already know what he would be getting before Christmas morning. Okay… So, yesterday I sent an email to my mom and sister with some generic ideas for gifts for Boyfriend, only to walk in the door last night to find him sitting in front of the computer with a yellow sheet of construction paper, making his Christmas List.
I thought I’d share that list with y’all for my blog post today.
(So, here it is. Copied straight from the paper. No changes. Promise.)
1. Flip Flops of high water quality. (Olukai Brand, Makai Collection, Ohana Black)
2. Gold and/or Silver Coins (1 oz weight)
3. T-Shirt
4. Long Sleeve T-Shirts
5. Colloidal Silver Generator (www.silverlungs.com)
6. Soap
7. Rug of high Arabic quality circular form
8. Leather Flip Flops
9. Lionel Messi’s soccer shoes… see Lemon Lady for color…
10. Plastics
11. Helly Hansen tops and Bottoms (Voss men’s pant #70480 in black, Roan Anorak #70206, both found in the HH work wear section of the website)
12. Socks (Wood floor quality)
13. Crawfish Boil set up
14. Winter flip flops
15. Soft Super Cooler (www.softsupercooler.com)
16. Sunspel Sleep Pants
17. Fairway Woods
18. Persol Shades
Right…
So, first of all I want to say how much I absolutely 100% adore my boyfriend. And, that list might be reason 367,289 that I’m madly in love with him.
But…
Come on! That’s ridiculous!!!
Going through them one by one…
1. Starting out good. He does really love these flip flops and I know he has been looking for them in stores around town, but since IT’S WINTER no one has his size left. FYI size 10.
2. I don’t even know what to say about him wanting silver and gold coins except that he does… yeah…
3. I love this. “T-Shirt” Well, isn’t that great. Boyfriend wants a T-Shirt. Does he want a red one? Or a Large one? Or maybe one from Target or Armani? Who knows? Evidently I’m support to be able to read his mind and know this means a Crazy Shirt. K.
4. Long sleeve T-Shirts (see above)
5. I still have no idea what this thing is. Boyfriend has tried to explain it to me so many times and each time I just end up confused. I just Googled it and to be honest I got bored reading about them before I even found out what they do, so go at it Mom and Sister.
6. Here he is referring to the expensive British Soap he loves called Mark Birley. No body wash please, just the bar.
7. “Rug of high Arabic quality circular form” HAHAHA!!! I laughed like crazy when I read that. I mean, we do want a rug for the livingroom and we would like it to be round, but evidently Boyfriend wants it to be “of high Arabic quality”.
8. I’m not quite sure how these are different from the first flip flops…
9. Yeah, so he wants soccer shoes even though he hasn’t played soccer since college and I’m suppose to know in what color he wants these shoes… um, I don’t know the color and I’m pretty sure that makes me a very bad girlfriend.
10. In the language of Boyfriend, “plastics” mean Nike, Puma, Adidas, ect, workout shorts he wears to work and around the house. I should point out here that he would want a size large (I don't care how big they look) and he likes them to have pockets.
11. This one might sound weird, but it’s not once you get past the fact that the waterproof work wear he wants is some crazy Swedish brand. You can actually find it at REI and other large outdoor stores.
12. “Wood Floor Quality” I’m guessing this means, “Really soft awesome socks like Lemon Lady has and that I steal and stretch out because my foot is big and fat.” But that’s just an educated guess…
13. Boyfriend must be tried of crab and is moving on to a new crustacean.
14. What the Hell is a “winter flip flop”?
15. Okay so this seems pretty cool.
16. Sunspel is a very old British men’s undergarments company that boyfriend found out a few years ago because of a article about James Bond. Yes, Sunspel is the official provider of all 007’s underwear since the first movie way back when. Two years ago, all he wanted was James Bond underwear from England and being the good girlfriend I am I bought him 75$ underwear. So, now he wants some pajama pants. Awesome.
17. He plays golf. I feel like this is a normal thing to be on a Christmas List.
18. Remember #16 and the James Bond underwear, well Persol makes his sunglasses and Boyfriend really wants a pair. Yes, they look good on him.
Again, I love Boyfriend very much, but there is no denying he’s a weird guy.
Oh, and while I was writing this he called to let me know he has one more thing to add to the list…
19. Rosetta Stone (languages: Polish, Spanish, Jamaican, or “Freaky Deecky Dutch”)
My response to this…
19. Boyfriend wants to learn a language. Awesome, I fully support this. Polish I get because he is polish. Spanish because everyone in Texas should know Spanish. Jamaican??? I have no idea. AND NO WAY AM I GOING TO ALLOW ANOTHER BOYFRIEND OF MINE TO LEARN DUTCH!!!
#2- gold coins. Maybe he is planning a secondary career in Pirating. and not pirating like, commandeer ships in jamaica and make the coast guard and the feds get involved- but Pirating like the wear a parrot on your shoulder and have a wooden leg and eye patch kind. who knows. just a thought.
ReplyDeletewinter flip flops? wth?
This is the best thing ever. I busted out laughing the first time I read it at my desk, and I am laughing so much right now, I can't even drink my coffee. Ok, you are finding out what winter flip flops are. By Jamaican does he mean the accent, or one of the dialects? Maybe freaky deecky Dutch is different than regular Dutch, like it's the Dutch you use while in the Red Light District. My bf was admiring my socks of wood floor quality, and asked me to get him a pair this weekend. Are the coins for when all the banks go out of business? And if a few are like 2 ounces, is that ok? Lastly, at least you know he will make you crawfish. That's awesome.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe it is pirating like commandeering ships in Jamaica and making the coast guard and the feds get involved, and THATS why he he needs to learn Jamaican. And so many flip flops. It's all coming together... Buy more swimsuits Lemon Lady
ReplyDeletehahaha.
ReplyDelete1. I bought my husband those exact slippers- size 11. You really can't find them? I had no problem in Florida!!
2. My husband asked me the other day if we could start investing in gold coins. I said "no". You should do the same.
5. Why does boyfriend know about this? Does he have health problems or is he a hypochondriac? Hmm...ever dealt with silver nitrate and wounds? Same concept. Basically, you breathe in the "silver" and it helps cleanse the body. It starts out with your lungs and works its way into the bloodstream.
But, uhm, unless he has health problems, I don't really see the need for him to have it...???
Weird. Very, very weird request.
Not to mention, silver nitrate isn't cheap, so I can't imagine this system being "inexpensive".
8. The OluKai slippers are leather.
14. http://www.bonsaisandals.com/ :)
Actually, I have a pink pair similar from LL Bean from my MIL last Christmas. They're kindof comfy? Highly doubt that is what he meant!
PS- CHRISTMAS AT MY HOUSE > CHRISTMAS AT YOUR HOUSE.
ReplyDeleteum, no Jessica. Promise.
ReplyDeleteDid you atleast understand the lung thingy?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, it is!
Seriously. You cannot see the floor.
Everyone comes to my parent's house (which has 8 bedrooms, then we add people in random places) and it's insane. Chaos. My room is already starting to fill up with random Christmas toys, b/c my (walk-in) closet has reached its max. And most of it is just for stockings!
But, alas, I will be with Jon's mom's family this Christmas in upstate NY...in the snow...looking at Canada. No kids...no joy...just old people.
So, yeah. You win this year.
ha. Tell boyfriend that I might get it for myself. I just have to talk to a couple of my docs first.
ReplyDeleteThen tell him to be jealous.
Then tell him to switch lungs with me.
Okay....As BF's sister...I will miss the hell out of ya'll this year, but will console myself with a mai tai in Maui! A few things...this so called "coin collection"...I actually have the majority of his coins. I find it odd that he is not a "collector" when I am the keeper!
ReplyDeleteThis silver stuff...don't let him do it I have read about people turning silver/gray...seriously. You need to talk him off the ledge on that one.
I am happy to learn that brother and I share the same affinity for pockets in our shorts. I am sure for different reasons, but feel closer to him nonetheless...
xo,
BF's sister