And now, without further ado… Project Runway Episode 7!!!
We start this week’s episode with April moving into “Evil Girl” apartment, AKA the home of Ivy, Gretchen, and Valerie. When April walks through the door with all her bags and amazing high bun all the Mean Girls do that high pitch scream sound. “HHHEEeeeeyyyy…….” It starts all happy and trails off to end in a sneer. Bitches.
Next the designers meet with Heidi on the runway and she is wearing what looks like a cross between a boxer’s shorts, pajamas, and a Prussian Prince’s garb. It’s not a good look. Heidi, when you have legs like yours, you don’t cover them in a circus tent. But, she sends the designers to have brunch (my favorite meal) with Tim Gun, so they really can’t complain.
Surprise!!!
They get to see Michael Kors off the runway and he is even going to give them sunglasses. He also tells them that their challenge this week is to design resort wear that shows their point of view. Straight Michael thinks he has got this challenge “in the bag” because he is from Palm Springs. Mondo is worried because he has never been to a resort and his only idea of resort wear is the underwear and T-Shirt he lounges in at home in his living room.
They then get 30 minutes to sketch on the boat. Gay Michael brings up the great point that “Who wants to sketch when they are drinking mimosas on a boat with Tim Gun.” Casanova wisely says, “This challenge is very Michael Kors. This is not my challenge.” Yeah, Casanova, we all know you are more Donna Karen circa 1984. Andy wants to design a lux bathing suit “you can wear all day”. Because who doesn’t love wearing a bathing suit all day? But then he mentions that he’s from Hawaii and I feel like people from Hawaii might do the swimwear all day thing. They did in Blue Crush… April decides that her look will be inspired by resort wear going to the mental asylum with a dash of super sexy. Sounds awesome to me.
Mood!!!
Gay Michael states that he must be true to himself, once Tim Gun reminds him of this and moves him away from some ghastly bright magenta fabric.
Twist!!!
Oh, no! Tim brings out the horrible, evil, velvet bag and we get to hear from every designer about how much they hate the bag. Except they really haven’t had that many twists this season, right? So Tim tells the designers that this challenge they must wear two hats. They get split up into pairs.
Valerie and Andy
Straight Michael and Mondo
April and Christopher
Casanova and Gretchen
Ivy and Gay Michael
So, they have to design a look and then hand it over to their partner to execute that look. Gay Michael puts is best when he says that he is handing over what he does best to Ivy and Ivy is handing over her neurosis to him. Of course Mondo is freaking out because he is matched with “sucks at life and can’t sew” Straight Michael who earlier in the episode says, “I’ve developed a sewing technique that works for me.” Now, you all know how much I adore Mondo, but he is kinda mean when he gets onto Straight Michael for not having a ruler when he doesn’t even sketch and poor Straight Michael has to interpret written notes to figure out what he is suppose to make.
Workroom!!!
Wow! In what might be the “OMG” moment of the season Gretchen knows Casanova can’t speak English well, so she draws GAINT sketches of what she wants him to sew for her. This is like being in a tourist in foreign country and just speaking really loud and slow to the natives thinking then they will understand you. Dude, Gretchen, the man may have an accent, but, as Casanova points out, he can see just fine. Oh, and I hate every syllable that comes out of Ivy’s mouth.
Um, can we talk about how personal Mondo seems this episode? For the entire season he has been the quirky, quiet guy in the corner with great eyewear, but today he seems like the group’s new chatty Cathy. It’s like his Aspergers has disappeared. I hope it is him just coming out of his shell and not the producers making him out to be weird because they needed a “weird guy”. Then I fall even more in love with him when he apologies to Straight Michael for “being a dick”, his words, for all of an hour. Straight Michael says it’s all good and they man hug and become BFFs.
Tim Meeting!!! With Michael Kors, too!!!
Big surprise, even Casanova’s sketch looks old. Then, Kors calls Gretchen out for having an old looking sketch so maybe they are a good pair. Kors leads April to do another “brief”. Um, can we not give her the okay to do another diaper? Ivy then talks to both Tim Gun and Michael Kors like they are 12 and don’t know anything about sewing and fashion and I want to punt this chick out the door. Michael Kors tells Valerie that not only do her colors for this week’s challenge suck, but actually her colors all season long haven’t been right. This leads Valerie to call her mom, cry, and get a nice little pep talk. We all need a mom pep talk every now and then and I like her even more after hearing her talk to her mom. GET OUT OF THE MEAN GIRLS GROUP!!!
Runway Morning!!!
Everyone is actually getting along and super excited for the runway. Well, everyone except Ivy which makes me do the evil laugh on my couch. “Muhahahah.” Gay Michael says, “I can feel her crazy energy coming off her.” Gay Michael, I can feel her crazy energy coming through my TV set. Oh, and April is having “ass covering issues” which just makes me normal laugh. “Ahahahahah.”
Runway!!!
Heidi now looks like an Ice Dancer, complete with Dorothy Hamill haircut. And the guest judge is…. Kristen Bell??? Good Luck designers, XOXO. (Because who doesn’t love a little Gossip Girl joke.)
Straight Michael: I don’t hate it, and it looks well made so props to my boy Mondo, but… wait… maybe I do hate it. It’s the fabric and belt combo that looks really cheap to me. I feel like this is something you buy in those weird stores that pop up in malls that are kinda ghetto or going out of business. You know, they have names like “Sexy Girl” or “Fashion Plus”. Plus it looks like she has a maternity band in the back.
Mondo: (Bottom Three) The swimsuit looks like underwear from Target. And I hate the matching visor. Who would wear this? I love you Mondo, but this is not a good look for a woman. The judges call it “inexpensive” and “junior.”
Gay Michael: (Top Three) This doesn’t wow me. Again, sometimes black it hard to see on TV. The details just don’t pop they way they would with a different color fabric. Also I think it’s too short. It looks like he ran out of fabric. The judged love it. (Again, they may have a better view.) Kors loves it and thinks it would great for the tropics, which to me is a little confusing. Tropics to me means bright fun colors, not black kinda evening gown. Then again, I’m not a rich woman who buys resort wear, so what do I know? Nina says “This is a look that could be worn by many different women of different ages.” Yeah, okay I agree on that. Point Nina.
Ivy: (Bottom Three) This looks horrible because instead of letting Gay Michael stretch his sewing skills, she redesigned it to be the most boring outfit on the planet so it would look sewn well. Then she threw Gay Michael under the bus for not making an amazing outfit. The outfit, it looks like a costume extra from The Princess Bride, but a slutty Princess Bride with that one shoulder top. Heidi says “it has no personality” and Nina says she doesn’t think Ivy has good designs, but she is a good seamstress (I feel like this is the ultimate low blow and I love Nina for it.) Kristen Bell (Gossip Girl!!!) brings up a good point that Ivy should have played to Gay Michael’s strengths instead on just dumbing down her design. Unfortunately they let her slide through another week.
Christopher: I feel like every week I can’t remember a thing about Christopher from the last week and this is why. His designs are always just so boring. I feel like the colors are from Banana Republic circa 1997. He’s got to go soon.
April: (Winner) Would this make Peach blush or what? The detail at the neck is fab and I love that she really did stay true to herself and she really did make “Asylum, Sexy Resort Wear” The judges love that the shorts are real shorts and not underwear. They call it “tough, punk, baby doll”.
Casanova: (Loser) I call it Mother of the Bride, and I hate it. Michael Kors calls it, “70 year old woman wear”. Nina says it has no fantasy and it is not cool. Adios Casanova.
Gretchen: I like the design of this and I think it looks well made, but I hate the color choice. What woman goes on vacation and wants to wear brown with more brown? And it’s sad brown, too. Not happy, rich, mahogany brown, but sad Ikea discount brown.
Valerie: WTF Val??? Your model looks like a fat cow with saggy boobs and you’ve got V’s pointing towards her vagina!!!
Andy: (Top) Very pretty. I think the wrap is a little too “Princess Barbie”, but it defiantly looks dramatic floating down the runway. I could totally picture this on a rich woman in Canes so I guess it works for me. The judges all like that its wearable, sophisticated, and well made.
Next Week: To quote Tim Gun, “Jackie Kennedy would not have camel toe…” Yeah, it’s going to be good.
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