My Singlehood: The Highs and The Lows

So in my last post I talking about weird things that single girls who live alone do. (Or at least weird things I do – I guess I shouldn’t speak for all singles out there as I know there must be some normal ones somewhere.) I’m now going to simply concentrate on the first part of that new classification I’ve found myself a part of.
 
Single.
 
As in one.
 
As in alone.
 
As in “ALLLLL BYYYY MYSELLLFFFFF”.
 
I’ve never been single in my life. I mean pretty much that is a correct statement. I’ve had two serious boyfriends in my post high school “adult” life. So, in the past 10 years I’ve been in two relationships that have lasted 9.5 years. This “being single” this being “young, wild, and free” thing is COMPLETELY new to me. And to be honest I don’t think I’m doing too bad. So here is a quick rundown of my singlehood – the highs and the lows…
 
High – Turns out I’m not so awkward that no one wants to ask me on dates!*
Low – The first guy to do so was annoying as all getup and a completely creepy dude that used to be on my kickball team who asked me out 48 hours after Kevin and I broke up… and he totally knew Kevin and that we had just broken up. Good thing Michelle was there to laugh in his face. (We are both going to Hell.)
 
High – I went to a party and made out with a cute guy!
Low – He was, well… older. (But still cute I swear!)
High – Sarah convinced me to go out with him and I did a few times and had a really good time.
Low – He blew me off and I haven’t heard from him since. I’m chalking it up to good dating experience and him being, “just not that into me”.
 
High – I get my whole bed ALL TO MYSELF!
Low – Sometimes I crawl onto my dog’s bed and spoon with him until even he gets annoyed with me and starts sighing really loud and trying to roll me off him.
High – I just got his balls chopped off. Ha! George Michael you will never win against me!
 
High – I can eat where ever and whatever I want to eat. (banana peppers, jalapenos, cheese… anyone?)
Low – I have to pay for all my food myself. I really miss multiple dinners out a month at restaurants like Paggi House and Olivia and 34th Street Café.
High - I can watch whatever movie I want to (What? Lots of people watch Mean Girls and Heathers 4 times a week…)  
Low – Somewhere deep down inside of me I know I’m getting dumber watching and re-watching movies with quotes like the following...
                “Alyssa, I’m sorry you’re a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re gap-toothed” and “Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw”
 
High – I like to flirt.
Low – I usually end up saying something nerdy. Like really nerdy. Like I bring up Agatha Christie characters or I tell them really long stories about how in 7th grade my girlfriends and I used to make all the boys in our classes carry our books to are next class because somehow I thought that story related to what we were talking about but in the end I just couldn’t make the connection and he got a really weird look on his face.
High – My nerdiness is super-hot!
Low – Too bad no one believes that but me.
 
*This is a huge deal. HUGE!