Exciting news... Top Chef recap is already up and ready for viewing. Check it out HERE.
Last night just as I was sitting down to see what kind of shenanigans Jamie was going to get herself into this week, I got sucked into an interesting conversation with Brother In Law via text messaging. So, I thought I'd share it with you... word for word. You can file this under reasons I love that my sister picked him to spend the rest of her life with.
Brother In Law: "Do you think Angelo has both male and female genitalia?"
Me: "Please don't insult my gender."
Brother In Law: "Bahahahaha. He's such a bitch... Tre is huge and black. I think he could maybe kick my ass."
Me: "Yeah, but don't you think if I just flicked Marcel in the nose he would run away crying???"
Brother In Law: "Yeah. I wish Tre would step on Marcel and use Angelo to wipe the smear off the bottom of his foot. But I hope Asian Dale or Black Tiffany wins."
Me: "If Black Tiffany wins, I'll shoot myself."
Brother In Law: "Why?! I love her."
Me: "Okay so she's nice and all but face it, she kinda sucks."
Brother In Law: "Is it cuz she's black? Fuckin racist."
And that's where I'm going to stop because I promised my parents I would try not to cruse so much in my writing.
(Oh, and I'm not a racist.)
Showing posts with label recap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recap. Show all posts
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Coming Soon, Where My Baby Daddy Is Off To, and Khloe Kardashian...
It’s time for another super awkward, super embarrassing blog post… but not quite yet. I’m going to string ya’ll along just a little bit longer because I have amazing photographic evidence of this happening and I don’t have it with me right now. I promise though, that when you see it, it will be worth your wait.
On another note, Top Chef ALL STAR recaps are back and should be posted sometime this evening here. Sorry I didn’t write one for the last episode but it was Christmas and I got sick and I mean Spike was kicked off so nothing crazy happened or anything.
Have you heard that my future Baby Daddy Vince Young was fired from the Tennessee Titans? People are speculating that he could go to one of five teams: Arizona Cardinal (AKA the most boring team ever), Washington Redskins (AKA the grossest team ever… seriously I judge people when they tell me they are a Redskins fan. This is probably the one team I couldn’t root for even if they got Vince.), Miami Dolphins (AKA the team I would be happy for if they picked up VY), San Francisco 49ers (AKA the team I should hate, but don’t and also the team that should be better than they are and maybe Vince could help them be awesome.) Seattle Seahawks (AKA the team that is NEVER on TV and thus I would never get to see my Baby Daddy unless I go the bar and spend mucho dinero.) Pretty much I’m sad this list leaves out the Vikings which means I’ll never get to see Young and Peterson together as they should have been since college.
Again, completely random thought… what was up with the fashion at the People’s Choice Awards last night? Now, usually I would just ignore this silly award show as the top winner for the night was Twilight, but since it’s the first of the award season and I’m desperate for some fashion since January fashion mags leave much to be desired, I couldn’t help looking through Yahoo’s slideshow of photos. Then, I did and I wish I hadn’t. This is the only one that stuck out to me…
Am I a fan of the Kardashians… not really. I’ll be honest I always thought Kim and Reggie Bush would have made adorable babies and I once saw their True Hollywood Story on E! and I think it’s really sweet that on the anniversary of their father’s death instead of visiting his grave they all go out and eat Lebanese food. What I like about this photo is Khloe, who usually looks like a tall giant who might at any moment try to eat her siblings, looks really pretty. Yeah, sure she’s pushing the Angelina Jolie look a little too far wearing a dress that looks like the long lost love child or these two dresses,
but hey when you can out shine four giant boobs in sparkly dresses you’ve have a pretty good night.
On another note, Top Chef ALL STAR recaps are back and should be posted sometime this evening here. Sorry I didn’t write one for the last episode but it was Christmas and I got sick and I mean Spike was kicked off so nothing crazy happened or anything.
Have you heard that my future Baby Daddy Vince Young was fired from the Tennessee Titans? People are speculating that he could go to one of five teams: Arizona Cardinal (AKA the most boring team ever), Washington Redskins (AKA the grossest team ever… seriously I judge people when they tell me they are a Redskins fan. This is probably the one team I couldn’t root for even if they got Vince.), Miami Dolphins (AKA the team I would be happy for if they picked up VY), San Francisco 49ers (AKA the team I should hate, but don’t and also the team that should be better than they are and maybe Vince could help them be awesome.) Seattle Seahawks (AKA the team that is NEVER on TV and thus I would never get to see my Baby Daddy unless I go the bar and spend mucho dinero.) Pretty much I’m sad this list leaves out the Vikings which means I’ll never get to see Young and Peterson together as they should have been since college.
Again, completely random thought… what was up with the fashion at the People’s Choice Awards last night? Now, usually I would just ignore this silly award show as the top winner for the night was Twilight, but since it’s the first of the award season and I’m desperate for some fashion since January fashion mags leave much to be desired, I couldn’t help looking through Yahoo’s slideshow of photos. Then, I did and I wish I hadn’t. This is the only one that stuck out to me…
Am I a fan of the Kardashians… not really. I’ll be honest I always thought Kim and Reggie Bush would have made adorable babies and I once saw their True Hollywood Story on E! and I think it’s really sweet that on the anniversary of their father’s death instead of visiting his grave they all go out and eat Lebanese food. What I like about this photo is Khloe, who usually looks like a tall giant who might at any moment try to eat her siblings, looks really pretty. Yeah, sure she’s pushing the Angelina Jolie look a little too far wearing a dress that looks like the long lost love child or these two dresses,
but hey when you can out shine four giant boobs in sparkly dresses you’ve have a pretty good night.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Quick Thursday Top Chef thoughts...
First and foremost, the Top Chef Recap will be here sometime this evening.
How awesome was last night's challenge!?!?
How awesome was the "cheftestants" actually getting to cook and not just making trail mix for 8 year olds and granola and fruit for their parents?!?!
Mike said, "I do a lot of lamb". Hahaha...
BTW, Boyfriend and I have totally eaten at a David Burke Restaurant, Primehouse, the last time we went to Chicago. It was the amazing restaurant we actually had delivered straight to our room at the James Hotel. (I mean how cool is eating bone-in filet Mignon that has been aged for 75 days in a Himalayan salt tiled room right there in the restaurant in your amazing, beautiful, gorgeous hotel room wearing your plush, white, hotel bathrobes!) So we felt really cool. (It doesn't take much...)
Also I've wanted to eat at Wylie Dufresne's wd~50 for like three years now, and from what I saw last night, yup, still want to eat there...
How awesome was last night's challenge!?!?
How awesome was the "cheftestants" actually getting to cook and not just making trail mix for 8 year olds and granola and fruit for their parents?!?!
Mike said, "I do a lot of lamb". Hahaha...
BTW, Boyfriend and I have totally eaten at a David Burke Restaurant, Primehouse, the last time we went to Chicago. It was the amazing restaurant we actually had delivered straight to our room at the James Hotel. (I mean how cool is eating bone-in filet Mignon that has been aged for 75 days in a Himalayan salt tiled room right there in the restaurant in your amazing, beautiful, gorgeous hotel room wearing your plush, white, hotel bathrobes!) So we felt really cool. (It doesn't take much...)
Also I've wanted to eat at Wylie Dufresne's wd~50 for like three years now, and from what I saw last night, yup, still want to eat there...
Monday, August 30, 2010
The Emmy's: The Good, The Bad, and The "What The F Were They Thinking"...
I know you guys love reading about me making a fool of myself or if I can’t summon a “Lemon Lady mucho embarrassing” blog post, you will settle for a “here is one of my friends being awkward in a social setting” post. But, not today my friends. Not today. Today I want to talk fashion. And not “I’m on like the 18th season of Project Runway, and I have hipster bangs, and I’ll be really bitchy but make really fabulous clothes” kinda talk, but real fashion talk. With real designers and dresses made out of silk not paper streamers found in a craft store.
Let’s talk about the Emmys!!!
Jayma Mays (Burberry Prorsum): She looks 100% adorable. Like I kinda want to squeeze her until she pops and them steel her jewelry. By the way, in case you are a huge Glee fan, but don’t have the endless internet hours as I seem to have, check out wwepw.blogspot.com (What Would Emma Pillsbury Wear) for your fix of beaded cardigans and anything else Jayma Mays may wear as Emma Pillsbury on Glee.
Kate Gosslin (Carmen Marc Valvo): Why the F is Kate Gossling at the Emmy’s and why is she doing the Kelly Kapowski comb over? I mean she had that horrible hair because she was a mom of eight kids under the age of five and she had no soul, but isn’t she rich with nannies and such now? Get a stylist!!! Or at least when you go into the salon and your hair dresser says, “I want to do something a little crazy but super cool…” politely say, “No thanks. Can you please just take off the dead ends and give me a few layers.” The worst you could end up with is a bad Rachel circa 1997.
Lea Michele (Oscar de la Renta): “You call him Oscar?” “That is his name.” (Please keep reading past my jokes with myself in my head.) Lea, if lose any more weight, your head will fall over and you’ll have to have Brittany hold it up, and honestly she has the best lines in the show and you don’t want her stealing your thunder. Or, maybe you could be in one of those wheelchairs with the head holding thing and Artie could be your love interest this season. Then again I like Artie and “insert Asian Girl’s name”, so Lea eat a Hamburger.
Tina Fey (Oscar de la Renta): Yes, her dress looks like it’s covered in WingDings font. Yes, it is a risk. Yes, I like it.
Sofia Vergara (Carolina Herrera): Okay she is gorgeous, and although I’ve only seen one episode of Modern Family (yeah I know I need to get on that) I thought she was hilarious. But this dress looks straight from the sale prom rack at Macy’s. And, not the good sale prom rack where I got my senior prom dress for 35$ as seen here…
but the crappy, we only have weird colors and mis-squined sale prom dress rack. Lo siento Sofia. (Oh and I see you trying to hide Rita Wilson. I'm getting to you soon.)
Kevin McHale (designer unknown): Best. Dressed. Man. Of. The. Night. Hands down, he looks amazing. Artie has become Artie the “Hottie I want to make out with in the library in between the book stacks in a kinda popular section so we might get caught.” The glasses, the one button suit, the swagger… everything is perfect.
Christina Hendricks (Zac Posen): For those of you who don’t follow red carpet looks like they’re all the Super Bowl, Christina has had some very bad days. She talks about loving her curves, but not being able to find a designer who can handle her… um… GIANT BOOBS. She almost got it right this time, almost. If I were her I would have told my limo driver to stop at a Walgreens on the way there and picked up a pair of scissors and cut off those sleeve dangly things. Give her some thick straps to hold those St. Bernard puppies up, but they don’t need tentacles.
Emily Blunt (Christian Dior): Um, can’t Emily afford a new dress that doesn’t have barnacles attached to it like it was dragged across the Atlantic caught onto the bottom on the May Flower?
Heidi Klum (Marchesa): I said earlier I wasn’t recapping Project Runway and these wouldn’t be dresses made from ribbon in a craft store. Evidently Heidi didn’t get the memo, or Seal lost it.
Rita Wilson (Prada): Rita, Rita, Rita… One: Some things are better left to the 15 year old runway models. Two: You don’t wear your Prada Chandelier dress with your Prada Chandelier Mules. Three: You don’t wear your Prada Chandelier dress with your Prada Chandelier Mules. And Four: Where are your husband’s eyes?
January Jones (Atelier Versace): This is the dress everyone is talking about. What was she thinking? Who does she think she is wearing something like this? And again, what was she thinking? It is plastic? How many mermaids were killed to make the scales? If you stare at her pointy boobs long enough do they tell you secrets? Should it be longer in the front or do you chop off the Princess Diana train? Did she get in a fight with rabid raccoons on the way to the Emmy’s because why would her hair intentionally look like that? There are good risks and bad risks, this was a bad one.
Then there are the “What the F were they thinking” dresses…
Dianna Agron:
Mindy Kaling:
Naya Rivera:
Let’s talk about the Emmys!!!
Jayma Mays (Burberry Prorsum): She looks 100% adorable. Like I kinda want to squeeze her until she pops and them steel her jewelry. By the way, in case you are a huge Glee fan, but don’t have the endless internet hours as I seem to have, check out wwepw.blogspot.com (What Would Emma Pillsbury Wear) for your fix of beaded cardigans and anything else Jayma Mays may wear as Emma Pillsbury on Glee.
Kate Gosslin (Carmen Marc Valvo): Why the F is Kate Gossling at the Emmy’s and why is she doing the Kelly Kapowski comb over? I mean she had that horrible hair because she was a mom of eight kids under the age of five and she had no soul, but isn’t she rich with nannies and such now? Get a stylist!!! Or at least when you go into the salon and your hair dresser says, “I want to do something a little crazy but super cool…” politely say, “No thanks. Can you please just take off the dead ends and give me a few layers.” The worst you could end up with is a bad Rachel circa 1997.
Lea Michele (Oscar de la Renta): “You call him Oscar?” “That is his name.” (Please keep reading past my jokes with myself in my head.) Lea, if lose any more weight, your head will fall over and you’ll have to have Brittany hold it up, and honestly she has the best lines in the show and you don’t want her stealing your thunder. Or, maybe you could be in one of those wheelchairs with the head holding thing and Artie could be your love interest this season. Then again I like Artie and “insert Asian Girl’s name”, so Lea eat a Hamburger.
Tina Fey (Oscar de la Renta): Yes, her dress looks like it’s covered in WingDings font. Yes, it is a risk. Yes, I like it.
Sofia Vergara (Carolina Herrera): Okay she is gorgeous, and although I’ve only seen one episode of Modern Family (yeah I know I need to get on that) I thought she was hilarious. But this dress looks straight from the sale prom rack at Macy’s. And, not the good sale prom rack where I got my senior prom dress for 35$ as seen here…
but the crappy, we only have weird colors and mis-squined sale prom dress rack. Lo siento Sofia. (Oh and I see you trying to hide Rita Wilson. I'm getting to you soon.)
Kevin McHale (designer unknown): Best. Dressed. Man. Of. The. Night. Hands down, he looks amazing. Artie has become Artie the “Hottie I want to make out with in the library in between the book stacks in a kinda popular section so we might get caught.” The glasses, the one button suit, the swagger… everything is perfect.
Christina Hendricks (Zac Posen): For those of you who don’t follow red carpet looks like they’re all the Super Bowl, Christina has had some very bad days. She talks about loving her curves, but not being able to find a designer who can handle her… um… GIANT BOOBS. She almost got it right this time, almost. If I were her I would have told my limo driver to stop at a Walgreens on the way there and picked up a pair of scissors and cut off those sleeve dangly things. Give her some thick straps to hold those St. Bernard puppies up, but they don’t need tentacles.
Emily Blunt (Christian Dior): Um, can’t Emily afford a new dress that doesn’t have barnacles attached to it like it was dragged across the Atlantic caught onto the bottom on the May Flower?
Heidi Klum (Marchesa): I said earlier I wasn’t recapping Project Runway and these wouldn’t be dresses made from ribbon in a craft store. Evidently Heidi didn’t get the memo, or Seal lost it.
Rita Wilson (Prada): Rita, Rita, Rita… One: Some things are better left to the 15 year old runway models. Two: You don’t wear your Prada Chandelier dress with your Prada Chandelier Mules. Three: You don’t wear your Prada Chandelier dress with your Prada Chandelier Mules. And Four: Where are your husband’s eyes?
January Jones (Atelier Versace): This is the dress everyone is talking about. What was she thinking? Who does she think she is wearing something like this? And again, what was she thinking? It is plastic? How many mermaids were killed to make the scales? If you stare at her pointy boobs long enough do they tell you secrets? Should it be longer in the front or do you chop off the Princess Diana train? Did she get in a fight with rabid raccoons on the way to the Emmy’s because why would her hair intentionally look like that? There are good risks and bad risks, this was a bad one.
Then there are the “What the F were they thinking” dresses…
Dianna Agron:
Mindy Kaling:
Naya Rivera:
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