Exciting news... Top Chef recap is already up and ready for viewing. Check it out HERE.
Last night just as I was sitting down to see what kind of shenanigans Jamie was going to get herself into this week, I got sucked into an interesting conversation with Brother In Law via text messaging. So, I thought I'd share it with you... word for word. You can file this under reasons I love that my sister picked him to spend the rest of her life with.
Brother In Law: "Do you think Angelo has both male and female genitalia?"
Me: "Please don't insult my gender."
Brother In Law: "Bahahahaha. He's such a bitch... Tre is huge and black. I think he could maybe kick my ass."
Me: "Yeah, but don't you think if I just flicked Marcel in the nose he would run away crying???"
Brother In Law: "Yeah. I wish Tre would step on Marcel and use Angelo to wipe the smear off the bottom of his foot. But I hope Asian Dale or Black Tiffany wins."
Me: "If Black Tiffany wins, I'll shoot myself."
Brother In Law: "Why?! I love her."
Me: "Okay so she's nice and all but face it, she kinda sucks."
Brother In Law: "Is it cuz she's black? Fuckin racist."
And that's where I'm going to stop because I promised my parents I would try not to cruse so much in my writing.
(Oh, and I'm not a racist.)
Showing posts with label the TV guide hunters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the TV guide hunters. Show all posts
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Quick Thursday Top Chef thoughts...
First and foremost, the Top Chef Recap will be here sometime this evening.
How awesome was last night's challenge!?!?
How awesome was the "cheftestants" actually getting to cook and not just making trail mix for 8 year olds and granola and fruit for their parents?!?!
Mike said, "I do a lot of lamb". Hahaha...
BTW, Boyfriend and I have totally eaten at a David Burke Restaurant, Primehouse, the last time we went to Chicago. It was the amazing restaurant we actually had delivered straight to our room at the James Hotel. (I mean how cool is eating bone-in filet Mignon that has been aged for 75 days in a Himalayan salt tiled room right there in the restaurant in your amazing, beautiful, gorgeous hotel room wearing your plush, white, hotel bathrobes!) So we felt really cool. (It doesn't take much...)
Also I've wanted to eat at Wylie Dufresne's wd~50 for like three years now, and from what I saw last night, yup, still want to eat there...
How awesome was last night's challenge!?!?
How awesome was the "cheftestants" actually getting to cook and not just making trail mix for 8 year olds and granola and fruit for their parents?!?!
Mike said, "I do a lot of lamb". Hahaha...
BTW, Boyfriend and I have totally eaten at a David Burke Restaurant, Primehouse, the last time we went to Chicago. It was the amazing restaurant we actually had delivered straight to our room at the James Hotel. (I mean how cool is eating bone-in filet Mignon that has been aged for 75 days in a Himalayan salt tiled room right there in the restaurant in your amazing, beautiful, gorgeous hotel room wearing your plush, white, hotel bathrobes!) So we felt really cool. (It doesn't take much...)
Also I've wanted to eat at Wylie Dufresne's wd~50 for like three years now, and from what I saw last night, yup, still want to eat there...
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Top Chef ALL STARS: Quotes, Boyfriend's Ideas, and Double Name Issues...
Top Chef Recap should be up on The TV Guide Hunters sometime this afternoon/evening. I don’t want to go into too much detail about last night’s episode before you’ve had the chance to check it out, so instead, here’s a look into my notes and all the ridiculous quotes that came out of the “cheftestants” mouths.
“All Star season, more like Open Season.” – White Dale (Because anyone could go at any time)
“The Jonas brothers are like Rockstars.” – Spike (Spike letting us know what type of music he hides under his douchy Nickelback and Doughty CDs)
“Kids are the pickiest eaters… the will cry in your face if you don’t give them what they want.” – White Dale (On his confusion about what to make for kids)
“Basically I’m making crap for small children.” – White Dale (What he then decides to make)
“Kids love Marshmallows, right?” – Marcel (Proving my theory that Marcel was never a child and probably came out of the womb being at least 15 and a snotty teenager)
“It’s like trying to make chicken soup with chicken shit” – Asian Dale (Why even his help won’t help Spike win the Quickfire)
“I have no interest in having children… ever” – Jamie (On kids, and how she might be my lesbian soul mate)
“2nd place is still losing.” – Jen (What her father used to tell her and why her pork belly must be perfect)
“According to Jurassic Park T Rex eats Brontosaurus and things like that.” – Casey (Proving she is blond and pissing me off with her inaccurate portrayal of one of the great books of our time)
“YOU DON’T FUCK WITH SOME ELSE’S MISE EN PLATES!!!” – Marcel (‘nuff said)
Another thing that made last night’s episode so wonderfully bad (besides learning that Tre sleeps nude) was that Boyfriend watched it with me. Here is what came to Boyfriend’s mind when watching Team Brontosaurus present their food.
Boyfriend: “Who wants to eat gnocchi for breakfast? These kids just want bacon and eggs and some Lucky Charms.”
Me: “They can’t use meat, so bacon and eggs are out of the picture.”
Boyfriend: “Then cereal. They should just put out a large cereal bar and let them have at it.”
Me: “Yeah, okay…”
Boyfriend: “You know if you’re and athlete, cereal is the way to go. If you get an “in” in the cereal market, you’re set for life. I mean people who watch sports LOVE cereal! The age bracket is perfect.”
Me: “What’s the age bracket?”
Boyfriend: “Kids.”
Me: “Kids?”
Boyfriend: “Yeah, kids sit and eat cereal while they watch sports. Parents are too busy watching this (pointing to my lap top which he had open to The Drudge Report), but kids love sports. In fact I don’t understand why schools don’t license out cereal brands. Notre Dame Leprecons! Florida Gator Mallows! Granola from Cal Berkley! I mean we might get some resistance from Luck Charms for the leprecon thing, but we would be making so much money who cares! Just think, Texas cereal with little longhorns floating in the milk. Although, we would want to make the horns curve the other way or something so we don’t infringe on their copyright…”
These are the kinds of conversations we have on a daily basis.
Also, Boyfriend things I’m being racist calling the Dales and Tiffanies, White, Black, and Asian. I do this because it is easier than remembering Faison, Derry, Talde, and Levitski. Then he told me if I am going to call Tiffany Derry, Black Tiffany I should call Dale Talde, Yellow Dale. I said that was extremely racist and rude. Then he said I should then call Black Tiffany, African Tiffany, but I fired back that she isn’t African she’s American, so should I call her American Tiffany? But then White Tiffany is also American, so we’re back where we started, having two people with the same name. Then Boyfriend pointed out that Asian Dale is probably not like “Asian Asian” because he doesn’t have an accent and he is American, too. So according to Boyfriend this is how I should write their names…
Tiffany Faison: American Tiffany with red hair and freckles
Tiffany Derry: American Tiffany with a dark tan who may or may not have descended from African Slaves
Dale Levitski: Gay American Dale
Dale Talde: American Dale with parents who are from “one of those China countries” in the far east who is also an asshole
“All Star season, more like Open Season.” – White Dale (Because anyone could go at any time)
“The Jonas brothers are like Rockstars.” – Spike (Spike letting us know what type of music he hides under his douchy Nickelback and Doughty CDs)
“Kids are the pickiest eaters… the will cry in your face if you don’t give them what they want.” – White Dale (On his confusion about what to make for kids)
“Basically I’m making crap for small children.” – White Dale (What he then decides to make)
“Kids love Marshmallows, right?” – Marcel (Proving my theory that Marcel was never a child and probably came out of the womb being at least 15 and a snotty teenager)
“It’s like trying to make chicken soup with chicken shit” – Asian Dale (Why even his help won’t help Spike win the Quickfire)
“I have no interest in having children… ever” – Jamie (On kids, and how she might be my lesbian soul mate)
“2nd place is still losing.” – Jen (What her father used to tell her and why her pork belly must be perfect)
“According to Jurassic Park T Rex eats Brontosaurus and things like that.” – Casey (Proving she is blond and pissing me off with her inaccurate portrayal of one of the great books of our time)
“YOU DON’T FUCK WITH SOME ELSE’S MISE EN PLATES!!!” – Marcel (‘nuff said)
Another thing that made last night’s episode so wonderfully bad (besides learning that Tre sleeps nude) was that Boyfriend watched it with me. Here is what came to Boyfriend’s mind when watching Team Brontosaurus present their food.
Boyfriend: “Who wants to eat gnocchi for breakfast? These kids just want bacon and eggs and some Lucky Charms.”
Me: “They can’t use meat, so bacon and eggs are out of the picture.”
Boyfriend: “Then cereal. They should just put out a large cereal bar and let them have at it.”
Me: “Yeah, okay…”
Boyfriend: “You know if you’re and athlete, cereal is the way to go. If you get an “in” in the cereal market, you’re set for life. I mean people who watch sports LOVE cereal! The age bracket is perfect.”
Me: “What’s the age bracket?”
Boyfriend: “Kids.”
Me: “Kids?”
Boyfriend: “Yeah, kids sit and eat cereal while they watch sports. Parents are too busy watching this (pointing to my lap top which he had open to The Drudge Report), but kids love sports. In fact I don’t understand why schools don’t license out cereal brands. Notre Dame Leprecons! Florida Gator Mallows! Granola from Cal Berkley! I mean we might get some resistance from Luck Charms for the leprecon thing, but we would be making so much money who cares! Just think, Texas cereal with little longhorns floating in the milk. Although, we would want to make the horns curve the other way or something so we don’t infringe on their copyright…”
These are the kinds of conversations we have on a daily basis.
Also, Boyfriend things I’m being racist calling the Dales and Tiffanies, White, Black, and Asian. I do this because it is easier than remembering Faison, Derry, Talde, and Levitski. Then he told me if I am going to call Tiffany Derry, Black Tiffany I should call Dale Talde, Yellow Dale. I said that was extremely racist and rude. Then he said I should then call Black Tiffany, African Tiffany, but I fired back that she isn’t African she’s American, so should I call her American Tiffany? But then White Tiffany is also American, so we’re back where we started, having two people with the same name. Then Boyfriend pointed out that Asian Dale is probably not like “Asian Asian” because he doesn’t have an accent and he is American, too. So according to Boyfriend this is how I should write their names…
Tiffany Faison: American Tiffany with red hair and freckles
Tiffany Derry: American Tiffany with a dark tan who may or may not have descended from African Slaves
Dale Levitski: Gay American Dale
Dale Talde: American Dale with parents who are from “one of those China countries” in the far east who is also an asshole
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