Last Friday Cupcake graduated from College. For the second time.
Congratulations on your Master Degree in Nursing Cupcake!
While Friday was spend celebrating Cupcake’s big achievement and drinking multiple margarita’s from the fun frozen margarita machine, Saturday was all about dinner and a movie. Cupcake, LSU Friend, and myself decided to meet for a nice dinner then brave the Saturday night movie crowd and go see Bridesmaids. Cupcake had pigged out on some guac earlier that day and I was completely indifferent, so LSU Friend had the honors of picking our restaurant. So, for once in our lives, we weren’t going to head to a local Mexican food place and drown ourselves in queso, but drive over to a local Indian food restaurant that LSU Friend swore up and down was yummy.
So we went.
Thoughts on Indian Food…
1. I’m not all that into Indian food. I don’t hate it, but I also don’t love it. It’s like this… why would anyone eat Indian if they could have Mexican? But, I think that about a lot of genres of food.
2. Cupcake is an EXTREMLY picky eater! My whole life I thought being an “extremely picky eater” just meant that you would not only HATE Norwegian food, but also turn into a huge brat if ever forced to eat it. (Yeah, maybe one day I’ll write about that story Favorite Cousin…) So, I was totally unprepared when I became friends with Cupcake. She’s a “selectatarian”. AKA a really picky eater. She doesn’t really eat meat… unless she wants to. And, then you (or whoever is preparing the meat) HAS TO COOK THE SHIT OUT OF IT. Nothing can be slightly under cooked or she literally can’t choke it down. Once, when I first met her, a few of us girls were cooking and she practically dissected the chicken breast to make sure no red veins or blood was left anywhere and then stood over the chicken while it was being cooked just in case the dead, sautéing chicken just started bleeding in the pan. Then she over cooked it five minutes and deemed it ready to eat. Also, she doesn’t really like “hole in the wall” kinda places. This absolutely makes my heart hurt, because to me there is nothing better than a steaming plate full of enchiladas from some random shack where the wait staff doesn’t speak English. Cupcake doesn’t like not knowing if the beans are vegetarian or not. All in all, I was shocked that Cupcake was even going to venture into the Indian food establishment. (By the way I adore Cupcake and all her little quirks.)
So, the three of us load up into LSU Friend’s car, Leroy, and drive the 3.5 minutes to Bombay Bistro for what the website and menus call, “modern Indian cuisine”.
When we enter Bombay Bistro, it is plainly obvious that is used to be Henry’s Hunan and six months before that it was Ancient Golden Dragon and six months before that China Pearl, but whatever. We took our seats on the wall, so that LSU Friend and I were sitting on a bench with our backs to the wall and Cupcake sat across from us in a normal chair. Next to us, shoved up against the table was a short divider which I guess was there to give us a little privacy from the table next to us. Everything starts out okay. I order my overpriced glass of wine, LSU Friend tells us what she has had there that is good, and Cupcake tells us about what happened at her grad party after we left the night before. Normal going out to eat things…
Me: “New job, new job” wine sip “new job”
LSU Friend: “Job, should I get a new job, job” wine sip “best friend getting married”
Cupcake: “Africa, new job, graduating… Eeck!”
Yes, readers, the nights shenanigans all began with a little “eeck”
The “eeck” was caused by a little cockroach climbing up the divider that hugged our table.
What followed was about ten seconds of absolute silence, wherein I (and I’m sure LSU Friend and Cupcake) had a litter internal dialogue with myself…
To Myself: “Okay. That’s gross. Wait. It’s still climbing. What do we do with it? Should I kill it? What am I going to kill it with? OMG, this is unfortunate.”
LSU Friend to Herself: “Well, shit. I finally get us to a restaurant that isn’t Chuy’s or Z-Tejas and this is what happens? Cupcake is going to freak out.”
Cupcake: “Oh, eeck, okay. This isn’t okay, but I’m going to Africa in a week and a half and I’m going to have to deal with bugs over there. Oh, but… oh, this is icky.”
Then Cupcake, like the awesome badass that she is, plucked our unlit candle off the table, and using the candle cup trapped the baby cockroach in the jar.
Me: “Yay Cupcake!”
LSU Friend: “Great, but , um… now what?”
Now what indeed? Cupcake had successfully trapped the little booger, but the roach is still alive and Cupcake can’t spend our entire diner with her hand holding a candle jar on the wall. So, she slowly slides the jar down the wall divider and secures the jar by leaning the cup with sugar against it, just in case that baby cockroach was part He Man and able to lift the decorative candle holder and escape. Success!
We then spent the next few minutes convincing ourselves that it was one lone cockroach and anywhere else we go is going have an hour and a half wait because it’s graduating weekend, so we might as well stay put and eat our Curry and Puho.
Then Cupcake goes to the bathroom, because she has the world’s tiniest bladder ever, and sees another bug. Here exact words were, “So, I saw our friend’s brother in the bathroom.”
By this time we have decided we should get rid of bug number 1, who is still trapped under the candle jar.
Cupcake: (leaning around the divider where there are two busboys and either a waitress or a manager cleaning off a table) “Excuse me Ma’am?”
Nothing
Cupcake: “Ma’am?”
Nothing
Cupcake: “Excuse me?”
Nothing
Cupcake: “Excuse me Ma’am”
Restaurant Woman: “What?!?! I’ll be with you in a second!”
Cupcake: “oh… okay.”
So now we’ve seen two cockroaches, trapped one, and Cupcake “AKA the nicest person in the world” has been snapped at for wondering, maybe, if it wouldn’t be too much to ask or too much trouble for the wait staff to kindly REMOVE THE COCKROACH from under the candle jar on our table. K, thanks.
Then our food comes out.
Here is where I’m sure most of y’all are all, “Why is Lemon Lady and her friends still sitting in this place and why oh why are they going to eat there?” I can only answer this question by of course blaming Cupcake. I blame Cupcake because she is our friend that gets grossed out by normal things like fat being on chicken and beans cooked oh so yummy in lard. She should have been jumping up from her seat and running out to the car, but instead she was just sitting there. It was like in my mind if Cupcake isn’t freaked out and if Cupcake can handle a few bugs, so can I. Then again, she also ate before we got there.
So the food is on the table and we start eating.
Cupcake: “Eeck!”
Me: (Throwing up in my mouth just a little bit) “Oh God… what?”
LSU Friend: (Spitting food in her napkin) “Oh crap… where?”
Cupcake: (Pointing) “Behind you. On the wall.”
Yup, there was brother number 3. He was crawling up the wall about three feet from my head.
Me: “Gross. It’s going to jump on my head.”
LSU Friend: “Lean on me friend.”
Cupcake: “Sir. SIR! We need help over here!”
Now, y’all tell me. What would you do if you were the owners of a restaurant where a nice group of young ladies kept seeing cockroaches everywhere? Maybe you would apologies. Maybe you could comp their ridiculous eight dollar glasses of cheap gas station wine. Let me tell you what I would not do, SEND MORE FOOD! Yeah, just in case we had forgotten if we had completely lost our appetites due to the infestation of disease carrying bugs the thoughtful management at Bombay Bistro sent over a free dessert. Oh, and it was gross. Like really gross.
Moral of this story, once every few years or so I get a great cockroach story while hanging with LSU Friend.
Oh, and Bridesmaids was really funny.
Showing posts with label Cupcake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cupcake. Show all posts
Monday, May 23, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Because One West Side Story Post Just Isn't Enough and KILLER CUPCAKE!!!
Yesterday I wrote about my trip to the theatre with LSU Friend and Cupcake to see West Side Story and posted this photo.
It was taken with my old iPhone that has no flash.
This photo was taken with Cupcake’s newer iPhone that has a flash.
As I was writing the post yesterday I texted Cupcake asking her to send me the photo taken on her camera because I knew it turned out better and readers; I only want the best for you. Well, being that Cupcake actually has a life at work being and nurse and finishing grad school and whatnot she didn’t get around to sending it to me until last night. I then get the following text messages from LSU Friend.
(I’m the sane one writing in green.)
Yeah… what???
Oh, and can we go back to the picture for a second. This is the photo LSU Friend is thinks is cute enough to thank me for sending it to her (even though really Cupcake did) by using some weird, 5 year old, Baton Rouge dialect of English. LSU Friend and I are staring at something off to the side and Cupcake, sitting front and center, looks like she is half alien with her evil green eyes and she might just jump out of the picture and devour you whole with her EXTREMELY white teeth. Nom. Nom. Nom.
It was taken with my old iPhone that has no flash.
This photo was taken with Cupcake’s newer iPhone that has a flash.
As I was writing the post yesterday I texted Cupcake asking her to send me the photo taken on her camera because I knew it turned out better and readers; I only want the best for you. Well, being that Cupcake actually has a life at work being and nurse and finishing grad school and whatnot she didn’t get around to sending it to me until last night. I then get the following text messages from LSU Friend.
(I’m the sane one writing in green.)
Yeah… what???
Oh, and can we go back to the picture for a second. This is the photo LSU Friend is thinks is cute enough to thank me for sending it to her (even though really Cupcake did) by using some weird, 5 year old, Baton Rouge dialect of English. LSU Friend and I are staring at something off to the side and Cupcake, sitting front and center, looks like she is half alien with her evil green eyes and she might just jump out of the picture and devour you whole with her EXTREMELY white teeth. Nom. Nom. Nom.
Friday, January 21, 2011
How I Was Diagnosed With "Magazine Tourettes"...
My co-worker reminded me that I am going to 27 this year. Holy crap! I’m not going to start ranting or anything because I know I have older readers and I don’t want to be “that young girl” who won’t shut up about how 27 is so… old. But, when my co-worker brought up that age a light bulb went off in my head. Hello Lemon Lady! This is why Sunday was so hard.
You see, back in the day I could put the drinks back. I could party all night and rally very quickly the next morning with only a few breakfast tacos and a big ‘ol ice tea. I could go downtown, stumble out of the bars at 2, catch a cab home, throw up, go to bed, and be at work with a smile on my face to open the store I worked for at 9 AM. If I had pancakes at Kerby Lane or a Best Wurst on 6th before the ride home I was even better. I can no longer drink like this! I mean I was drunk on Saturday don’t get me wrong. But I was not falling down, throwing up, forgetting how to play blackjack drunk. (BTW I now know why blackjack dealers say out loud the number you have, because although I knew how to play the game on Saturday night, adding the numbers on the cards was tough.) I guess what I’m trying to say is that on Sunday I was just stupid. Seriously the whole day I felt slow and dumb.
Luckily all I had to do was ride in the car home without embarrassing myself. Unfortunately, I could not do this.
LSU Friend and Lil Blount diagnosed me with Magazine Tourettes.
Magazine Tourettes is a little know syndrome where the person who is afflicted cannot read a magazine without reading aloud random tidbits of information or commenting about articles they read or ads they see.
The February issue of InStyle was the demon that set off my Magazine Tourettes.
I think it should be known first that I absolutely love magazines. Seriously, not a lot of things can hold my attention better than a new, shinny, and glossy magazine. I’m addicted to the smooth pages. I love everything about magazines. I love analyzing the cover stories. I like scrutinizing the advertisements. I read them cover to cover. Honestly, I’ll read anything if it is giving to me in a magazine like way. Consumer Reports vacuum cleaner issue? Sure, I’ll read it. Rolling Stones cover the Jonas Brothers? Why not? Star Magazine makes up some story about Angelina dying in rehab? I’m all over that. Really I’m not picky.
I don’t usually buy InStyle, so opening that large fashion magazine was like a little treat.
Me: “Oh, that bag is nice…”
Cupcake (sitting next to me): “Are you talking to me?”
Me: “Um… Yeah… Look at this cute white bag.”
Cupcake: “Oh, cute.”
Four minutes later…
Me: “Oh? Is that bag leather or cloth?”
Cupcake (looking up from the magazine she is reading): “What?”
LSU Friend (looking back from the front seat): “Um, who are you talking to?”
Me: “What? Oh, um… Cupcake! You saw this bag a few minutes ago; do you think its cloth or leather?”
Cupcake: “I guess leather.”
Three minutes later…
Me: “Oh, that bag is by Ivanka Trump.”
LSU Friend: “What Lemon Lady?”
Lil Blount: “OMG what are you talking about?”
Me: “That bag. It’s by Trump and isn’t that much. You can get it on Piperlime.”
Lil Blount: “Lemon Lady, WE CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU CAN SEE! We have no idea what bag you keep talking about.”
Me: “This one! (pointing to the bag on the magazine page) The one I keep talking about.”
LSU Friend: “Yeah, we get it. You see a bag… in the magazine (now she’s just talking slow because she thinks I’m a moron) but we are up here and Cupcake is reading her own magazine and we have no F-ing idea what you keep saying!”
Lil Blount: “It’s like you have Magazine Tourettes or something.”
And that’s how I was diagnosed.
Then it got worse.
Fifteen minutes later…
Me: “hummm… hehehehe… I’m really into red pants.”
Cupcake: “huh?”
LSU Friend: “Stop with the Tourettes!”
Me: “But this is funny. Someone wrote into the magazine saying they really like red pants but they don’t know if they can pull them off. I mean, if you have to write into a magazine asking how to wear pants, no, you can’t pull them off.”
Lil Blount: “Then Lemon Lady you should say that. You need to give us more of your internal dialogue because we have no F-ing idea what you are talking about when you say you really like red pants.”
Me: “No, the chick who wrote to the magazine likes the red pants. I don’t like red pants.”
Lil Blount: “I know now! But when you first said it I didn’t.”
LSU Friend: “We were just confused and worried about you.”
Me: “I know what I’m talking about.”
Cupcake (trying to be nice): “Yeah but no one else does and we think you’re talking to us.”
Me: “Sorry, I’ll try harder.”
I then proceeded to have Magazine Tourettes for another forty five minutes while I finished the magazine. (I mean have y'all seen the new Limited ads? They are really confusing!) I think it was the hungover slowness I had been experiencing all day. I knew I should say things out loud. I knew my friends in the front seat had no idea what I was talking about and that Cupcake was in her own little world playing Angry Birds sitting next to me, but I couldn’t control myself. I just hope that this is a passing disease and won’t stay with me too long.
You see, back in the day I could put the drinks back. I could party all night and rally very quickly the next morning with only a few breakfast tacos and a big ‘ol ice tea. I could go downtown, stumble out of the bars at 2, catch a cab home, throw up, go to bed, and be at work with a smile on my face to open the store I worked for at 9 AM. If I had pancakes at Kerby Lane or a Best Wurst on 6th before the ride home I was even better. I can no longer drink like this! I mean I was drunk on Saturday don’t get me wrong. But I was not falling down, throwing up, forgetting how to play blackjack drunk. (BTW I now know why blackjack dealers say out loud the number you have, because although I knew how to play the game on Saturday night, adding the numbers on the cards was tough.) I guess what I’m trying to say is that on Sunday I was just stupid. Seriously the whole day I felt slow and dumb.
Luckily all I had to do was ride in the car home without embarrassing myself. Unfortunately, I could not do this.
LSU Friend and Lil Blount diagnosed me with Magazine Tourettes.
Magazine Tourettes is a little know syndrome where the person who is afflicted cannot read a magazine without reading aloud random tidbits of information or commenting about articles they read or ads they see.
The February issue of InStyle was the demon that set off my Magazine Tourettes.
I think it should be known first that I absolutely love magazines. Seriously, not a lot of things can hold my attention better than a new, shinny, and glossy magazine. I’m addicted to the smooth pages. I love everything about magazines. I love analyzing the cover stories. I like scrutinizing the advertisements. I read them cover to cover. Honestly, I’ll read anything if it is giving to me in a magazine like way. Consumer Reports vacuum cleaner issue? Sure, I’ll read it. Rolling Stones cover the Jonas Brothers? Why not? Star Magazine makes up some story about Angelina dying in rehab? I’m all over that. Really I’m not picky.
I don’t usually buy InStyle, so opening that large fashion magazine was like a little treat.
Me: “Oh, that bag is nice…”
Cupcake (sitting next to me): “Are you talking to me?”
Me: “Um… Yeah… Look at this cute white bag.”
Cupcake: “Oh, cute.”
Four minutes later…
Me: “Oh? Is that bag leather or cloth?”
Cupcake (looking up from the magazine she is reading): “What?”
LSU Friend (looking back from the front seat): “Um, who are you talking to?”
Me: “What? Oh, um… Cupcake! You saw this bag a few minutes ago; do you think its cloth or leather?”
Cupcake: “I guess leather.”
Three minutes later…
Me: “Oh, that bag is by Ivanka Trump.”
LSU Friend: “What Lemon Lady?”
Lil Blount: “OMG what are you talking about?”
Me: “That bag. It’s by Trump and isn’t that much. You can get it on Piperlime.”
Lil Blount: “Lemon Lady, WE CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU CAN SEE! We have no idea what bag you keep talking about.”
Me: “This one! (pointing to the bag on the magazine page) The one I keep talking about.”
LSU Friend: “Yeah, we get it. You see a bag… in the magazine (now she’s just talking slow because she thinks I’m a moron) but we are up here and Cupcake is reading her own magazine and we have no F-ing idea what you keep saying!”
Lil Blount: “It’s like you have Magazine Tourettes or something.”
And that’s how I was diagnosed.
Then it got worse.
Fifteen minutes later…
Me: “hummm… hehehehe… I’m really into red pants.”
Cupcake: “huh?”
LSU Friend: “Stop with the Tourettes!”
Me: “But this is funny. Someone wrote into the magazine saying they really like red pants but they don’t know if they can pull them off. I mean, if you have to write into a magazine asking how to wear pants, no, you can’t pull them off.”
Lil Blount: “Then Lemon Lady you should say that. You need to give us more of your internal dialogue because we have no F-ing idea what you are talking about when you say you really like red pants.”
Me: “No, the chick who wrote to the magazine likes the red pants. I don’t like red pants.”
Lil Blount: “I know now! But when you first said it I didn’t.”
LSU Friend: “We were just confused and worried about you.”
Me: “I know what I’m talking about.”
Cupcake (trying to be nice): “Yeah but no one else does and we think you’re talking to us.”
Me: “Sorry, I’ll try harder.”
I then proceeded to have Magazine Tourettes for another forty five minutes while I finished the magazine. (I mean have y'all seen the new Limited ads? They are really confusing!) I think it was the hungover slowness I had been experiencing all day. I knew I should say things out loud. I knew my friends in the front seat had no idea what I was talking about and that Cupcake was in her own little world playing Angry Birds sitting next to me, but I couldn’t control myself. I just hope that this is a passing disease and won’t stay with me too long.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The First of Many Post's From Last Weekend: Fancy Dresses, Men in Tights, and Igloo Coolers...
This past weekend I made the 8 hour trip to Baton Rouge with LSU Friend, Cupcake, and Lil Blount to attend the Krewe of Artemis’ Madi Gras Ball.
…
I had absolutely no idea what I had signed up for.
Looking back I’m not quite sure what I was expecting. I mean, I knew there would be beads and green, yellow, purple things, and maybe a mask or two, but nothing like what I walked into on Saturday night. First of all, the Ball had to be held in the Convention Center. Yeah, the Convention Center… because there were 1400 people attending! This was no little gala or large wedding reception, 1400 people is a whole latta sparkly ball gowns and tuxedos.
Secondly, the Ball was BYOB.
Again, the Ball was BYOB.
Well slap my ass, hand me a beer, and call me a Ragin Cajun because whoever thought of this might be a genius. I need you guys to stop for a second and imagine this. 1400 people dressed to the nines. I’m talking full length ball gowns, trains, seriously sparkly jewels, and men in tuxes… fancy, fancy, fancy. Okay now imagine them all dragging coolers behind them as they hand their tickets to doormen to get inside. I really wish I had pictures of this, but I don’t so I’m going to improvise.
It was totally just like this…
Or if you were cheep like us, this…
(I should note here that no, we didn’t dance with our plastic bags of vodka and red wine, but this was just a good arm shot to illustrate how we brought our booze.)
This was our table.
Any get together that at any time during the night you will find vodka, Red Bull, Zing Zang Bloody mix, wine bought at a CVS, and glasses that light up and change color on the table is a good party in my book.
Another thing, the costumes. Now, I’ve spent a few years in San Antonio where they celebrate Fiesta in the spring. And for years my mother dragged us to all of the crappy parades. (I really need to blog about that.) So, in my mind the Madi Gras costumes would be kinda like the Fiesta dress. This means that somewhere in the back of my mind I was a little prepared for this… Queen Cheryl.
However, I was not prepared for this… King Brett.
I can’t decide if he looks like the Disney version of Prince Charming or the Shrek character Lord Farquaad. All jokes aside, I mean he is wearing tights, Brett was amazing, sweet as could be, and milked his night for all it was worth. The only person more excited to be a part of the festivities was Queen Cheryl herself.
Here are a few photos to wrap it up.
Thank you Queen Cheryl and LSU Friend for inviting me to this amazing event. As if y’all couldn’t tell, I had a great time.
Coming soon: LSU Friend giving jazz hands in the car, Cupcake’s obsession with some woman who looked like a “lady of the night”, reactions to Lil Blount’s interesting headgear, and is "coonass" a derogatory word in Louisiana...
…
I had absolutely no idea what I had signed up for.
Looking back I’m not quite sure what I was expecting. I mean, I knew there would be beads and green, yellow, purple things, and maybe a mask or two, but nothing like what I walked into on Saturday night. First of all, the Ball had to be held in the Convention Center. Yeah, the Convention Center… because there were 1400 people attending! This was no little gala or large wedding reception, 1400 people is a whole latta sparkly ball gowns and tuxedos.
Secondly, the Ball was BYOB.
Again, the Ball was BYOB.
Well slap my ass, hand me a beer, and call me a Ragin Cajun because whoever thought of this might be a genius. I need you guys to stop for a second and imagine this. 1400 people dressed to the nines. I’m talking full length ball gowns, trains, seriously sparkly jewels, and men in tuxes… fancy, fancy, fancy. Okay now imagine them all dragging coolers behind them as they hand their tickets to doormen to get inside. I really wish I had pictures of this, but I don’t so I’m going to improvise.
It was totally just like this…
Or if you were cheep like us, this…
(I should note here that no, we didn’t dance with our plastic bags of vodka and red wine, but this was just a good arm shot to illustrate how we brought our booze.)This was our table.
Any get together that at any time during the night you will find vodka, Red Bull, Zing Zang Bloody mix, wine bought at a CVS, and glasses that light up and change color on the table is a good party in my book. Another thing, the costumes. Now, I’ve spent a few years in San Antonio where they celebrate Fiesta in the spring. And for years my mother dragged us to all of the crappy parades. (I really need to blog about that.) So, in my mind the Madi Gras costumes would be kinda like the Fiesta dress. This means that somewhere in the back of my mind I was a little prepared for this… Queen Cheryl.
However, I was not prepared for this… King Brett.
I can’t decide if he looks like the Disney version of Prince Charming or the Shrek character Lord Farquaad. All jokes aside, I mean he is wearing tights, Brett was amazing, sweet as could be, and milked his night for all it was worth. The only person more excited to be a part of the festivities was Queen Cheryl herself. Here are a few photos to wrap it up.
Thank you Queen Cheryl and LSU Friend for inviting me to this amazing event. As if y’all couldn’t tell, I had a great time.
Coming soon: LSU Friend giving jazz hands in the car, Cupcake’s obsession with some woman who looked like a “lady of the night”, reactions to Lil Blount’s interesting headgear, and is "coonass" a derogatory word in Louisiana...
Monday, January 10, 2011
One Week Down: Cursing at Boyfriend, Diet Coke, and Pounds Lost...
At the end of today I will have been on my diet for exactly one week. While I am happy... well ecstatic I have made it through one week, it has been excruciatingly hard. Here’s how the past week has run down.
Day 1: I AM STARVING!!! Literally I went to bed that night and I dreamt about food. In my dream my family and I were moving from one house to another, but instead of driving or flying we were walking. Yeah, just like we were out for a stroll in the woods, except we were walking to a new house and following us were 500 men carrying all of our household goods. It was cold and rainy and we were walking through some giant forest hoping to make it to our new home before school started for me and my sister (although we looked our respectable 20 something age for some reason we would be back in grade school), and all I could think about in my dream was, “Man, I’m in the mood for peanut butter. Like if all of the sudden some peanut butter popped up over there on that fallen tree stump I would be all over that. But wait. Crap. Can I eat peanut butter? Is that allowed on my diet? Oh, I hope I can eat peanut butter…” Yeah, it had been one day people and I was so deprived of food I was dreaming about the crunchy, creamy goodness that is Jif Extra Chunky. And the last time I ate peanut butter… probably like 4 years ago. FML.
Day 2: This happened after dinner that night.
Me: (to myself) “I’m still hungry. I’m going to eat a Laughing Cow Cheese wedge (LOVE THEM!)."
Boyfriend (hearing the fridge open): “What are you getting?”
Me: “Just a little Cheese for dessert.”
Boyfriend: “Let me have a bite.”
Me (stopping mid-stride while walking back to the couch): “Are you fucking for real?”
Boyfriend (looking around nervously): “Um, yeah…”
Me: “This is my dessert! Do you realize that?!?! This is all I get! You can go in there and eat sour cream and onion potato chips till you burst or Oreo cookies with milk, WHOLE MILK!!! But, for me this tiny little wedge of cheese is all I get! Fuck you. You cannot have a bite of my cheese!!!”
Boyfriend: “Geez, all I wanted was a bite.”
Me: "Get your own!"
Boyfriend: “I don’t want my own I just want a bite of yours.”
Me: “Hell no, buddy.”
Then I gave him a tiny bite out of guilt because I yelled at him. And if I yell at Boyfriend I feel like the diet wins. And, the diet can not win...
Day 4: Day 4 was my first day going to a restaurant while on the diet. I did okay. I ordered a salad and gave away the quesadilla-like breed that came with. It did, however, have corn on it and corn is a no- no. My bad. The big thing that started on day 3 was the craving for Diet Coke. Background info here… I’m not a “soda person”. I used to drink them when I was younger and then my parents stopped buying as many so I stopped drinking them. They weren’t a hard thing to give up. I probably drink 10 to 15 Cokes a year. As much as I’m not a “soda person” I am totally, 100% an unsweetened ice tea person. I crave it. I rate restaurants by how good their tea tastes. I ask boyfriend to pick it up for me if he is coming home. I can down gallons of the stuff. Since I’ve started this diet I think I have only had it once. All I want is Diet Coke. Now, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that I’ve completely cut carbs and sugar out of my diet and my cravings are making up for the lack of sugar in something else. I get it. I get it that my brain is tricking me. You know what; I’m so okay with that.
On Saturday Ted came over to pick up Boyfriend. The very first thing he did was get some ice out of the freezer and pour a Diet Coke into a plastic glass. The entire time I’m doing some cleaning in the house and carrying on polite conversation but in my mind I’m thinking this, “How dare you bring Diet Coke into my house and not bring me one you horrible excuse for a human being!!! Give me the Coke!!! Must take the Coke!!!” Yet, out loud I’m saying this, “Yeah, Caddyshack is one of my favorite 80’s films. Well, minus the character Maggie. I F-ing hate Maggie!!!” As soon as I had the chance I drove to the corner store and bought a Diet Coke.
Day 4 (nighttime): That night I went out to eat again. LSU Friend, Cupcake, and I all went to Hide Park Grill. Hide Park is known for one thing. It’s so well known for this one thing that the sign in front to the building is a fork spearing this magnificent dish. French Fries.
Not just any French Fries, these have been dipped in buttermilk before they are fried and they are served with a Chipotle Mayonnaise! They take me back to eating Belgium Fries while shopping in Germany. They are nostalgic, yummy goodness and I love them. But I could not eat them.
However, I did order their salmon with green beans and broccoli. I specifically wanted to order the salmon because I wanted leftovers to make this recipe I found on the website Kalyn’s Kitchen. This website is amazing! Check it out to learn all about her, but long story short a few years ago she lost a whole lotta weight using South Beach and now she has a great blog sharing her favorite recipes she has created and modified from other cookbooks and websites to be South Beach friendly. They are so good! I’ve made White Chili with Chicken and Breakfast Egg Muffins which I dip in salsa to get my kinda breakfast taco fix. (Because OMG have I been going through breakfast taco withdraws. I mean addictions are hard to break.) I’ve also done Shrimp with Dijon Mustard sauce which Boyfriend loved as well, and another chili. Thank you Kalyn. Thank you internet.
Tonight will mark one week down on my journey to a skinnier Lemon Lady.
Things I’ve learned…
Diet Coke – good
Picture of brownies on a blog I read – bad
Laughing Cow Cheese with everything – good
Listening to Boyfriend munch on chips – bad
Snacking at work – good
Not drinking – bad
Losing 4 pounds in a week – good
Going to Baton Rouge and New Orleans on Thursday – well that could be bad but I’m going to try my best…
Day 1: I AM STARVING!!! Literally I went to bed that night and I dreamt about food. In my dream my family and I were moving from one house to another, but instead of driving or flying we were walking. Yeah, just like we were out for a stroll in the woods, except we were walking to a new house and following us were 500 men carrying all of our household goods. It was cold and rainy and we were walking through some giant forest hoping to make it to our new home before school started for me and my sister (although we looked our respectable 20 something age for some reason we would be back in grade school), and all I could think about in my dream was, “Man, I’m in the mood for peanut butter. Like if all of the sudden some peanut butter popped up over there on that fallen tree stump I would be all over that. But wait. Crap. Can I eat peanut butter? Is that allowed on my diet? Oh, I hope I can eat peanut butter…” Yeah, it had been one day people and I was so deprived of food I was dreaming about the crunchy, creamy goodness that is Jif Extra Chunky. And the last time I ate peanut butter… probably like 4 years ago. FML.
Day 2: This happened after dinner that night.
Me: (to myself) “I’m still hungry. I’m going to eat a Laughing Cow Cheese wedge (LOVE THEM!)."
Boyfriend (hearing the fridge open): “What are you getting?”
Me: “Just a little Cheese for dessert.”
Boyfriend: “Let me have a bite.”
Me (stopping mid-stride while walking back to the couch): “Are you fucking for real?”
Boyfriend (looking around nervously): “Um, yeah…”
Me: “This is my dessert! Do you realize that?!?! This is all I get! You can go in there and eat sour cream and onion potato chips till you burst or Oreo cookies with milk, WHOLE MILK!!! But, for me this tiny little wedge of cheese is all I get! Fuck you. You cannot have a bite of my cheese!!!”
Boyfriend: “Geez, all I wanted was a bite.”
Me: "Get your own!"
Boyfriend: “I don’t want my own I just want a bite of yours.”
Me: “Hell no, buddy.”
Then I gave him a tiny bite out of guilt because I yelled at him. And if I yell at Boyfriend I feel like the diet wins. And, the diet can not win...
Day 4: Day 4 was my first day going to a restaurant while on the diet. I did okay. I ordered a salad and gave away the quesadilla-like breed that came with. It did, however, have corn on it and corn is a no- no. My bad. The big thing that started on day 3 was the craving for Diet Coke. Background info here… I’m not a “soda person”. I used to drink them when I was younger and then my parents stopped buying as many so I stopped drinking them. They weren’t a hard thing to give up. I probably drink 10 to 15 Cokes a year. As much as I’m not a “soda person” I am totally, 100% an unsweetened ice tea person. I crave it. I rate restaurants by how good their tea tastes. I ask boyfriend to pick it up for me if he is coming home. I can down gallons of the stuff. Since I’ve started this diet I think I have only had it once. All I want is Diet Coke. Now, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that I’ve completely cut carbs and sugar out of my diet and my cravings are making up for the lack of sugar in something else. I get it. I get it that my brain is tricking me. You know what; I’m so okay with that.
On Saturday Ted came over to pick up Boyfriend. The very first thing he did was get some ice out of the freezer and pour a Diet Coke into a plastic glass. The entire time I’m doing some cleaning in the house and carrying on polite conversation but in my mind I’m thinking this, “How dare you bring Diet Coke into my house and not bring me one you horrible excuse for a human being!!! Give me the Coke!!! Must take the Coke!!!” Yet, out loud I’m saying this, “Yeah, Caddyshack is one of my favorite 80’s films. Well, minus the character Maggie. I F-ing hate Maggie!!!” As soon as I had the chance I drove to the corner store and bought a Diet Coke.
Day 4 (nighttime): That night I went out to eat again. LSU Friend, Cupcake, and I all went to Hide Park Grill. Hide Park is known for one thing. It’s so well known for this one thing that the sign in front to the building is a fork spearing this magnificent dish. French Fries.
Not just any French Fries, these have been dipped in buttermilk before they are fried and they are served with a Chipotle Mayonnaise! They take me back to eating Belgium Fries while shopping in Germany. They are nostalgic, yummy goodness and I love them. But I could not eat them. However, I did order their salmon with green beans and broccoli. I specifically wanted to order the salmon because I wanted leftovers to make this recipe I found on the website Kalyn’s Kitchen. This website is amazing! Check it out to learn all about her, but long story short a few years ago she lost a whole lotta weight using South Beach and now she has a great blog sharing her favorite recipes she has created and modified from other cookbooks and websites to be South Beach friendly. They are so good! I’ve made White Chili with Chicken and Breakfast Egg Muffins which I dip in salsa to get my kinda breakfast taco fix. (Because OMG have I been going through breakfast taco withdraws. I mean addictions are hard to break.) I’ve also done Shrimp with Dijon Mustard sauce which Boyfriend loved as well, and another chili. Thank you Kalyn. Thank you internet.
Tonight will mark one week down on my journey to a skinnier Lemon Lady.
Things I’ve learned…
Diet Coke – good
Picture of brownies on a blog I read – bad
Laughing Cow Cheese with everything – good
Listening to Boyfriend munch on chips – bad
Snacking at work – good
Not drinking – bad
Losing 4 pounds in a week – good
Going to Baton Rouge and New Orleans on Thursday – well that could be bad but I’m going to try my best…
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Cupcake, Cooper, and Tie Die...
This past Sunday I met up with LSU Friend and Cupcake for a fun afternoon of eating, drinking, and Tie Die. We went to Zocalo and (horary) I didn’t want to kill anyone. Two stacked enchiladas and a pitcher of mixed frozen sangria/margaritas later the three of us headed to Cupcake's house for some tee shirt dying fun.
(By the way, I know many of you (i.e. Dad) have some stereotypical ideas about what people do in Austin. So, no, we don’t Tie Die all the time! And no, we weren’t taking bong hits and listening to Bob Schneider either. Just wanted to clear that up.)
This is my friend Cupcake.
(Gotta love stealing photos from Facebook.)
Isn’t she adorable? On top of the adorable thing, Cupcake is literally (and y’all know I hate when people misuse the word literally) the nicest person I’ve ever met. Cupcake likes esty.com, Anthopology, Glee, and of course cupcakes. She has cupcake ornaments on her Christmas tree, cupcake photos on her walls, a cupcake hanger thing on the back of her front door, and every cupcake making do-dad known to man. Also she has and teeny tiny little cupcake tattoo. Seriously adorable. She’s a nurse… in a children’s hospital. She takes care of her nephews and friend’s children like they are her own. She does yoga and ballet and river surfing. She was really upset this past weekend that someone at her work, who is crazy, might, maybe, kinda sorta not like her. She is the nicest person in the world.
She is also a cat person.
This is Cooper Seris, Cupcake’s cat.
This is Cooper Seris getting into his Santa outfit on Sunday to show LSU Friend and me.
Cupcake: “Cooper Seris! Hold still silly. You know you love your Santa Outfit. Don’t you want our friends to see you all dressed up?”
Cooper Seris: “Stop holding me down woman!”
Cupcake: “Look how cute your little waist is…”
Cooper Seris: “I die. My hips are huge in this thing.”
Cooper Seris: “If you put this picture on the web I will hunt you down and gut you like a fish.”
Cupcake: (standing next to me) “Cooper! Look this way. Look at Momma. Cooper…”
Cooper Seris: “Come on lady. Take the flipping photo already…”
Cooper Seris: “I fucking hate my life.”
Cupcake: “Smile for me, kitty...”
Cooper Seris: “Someone kill me now.”
Oh and here are two pictures of our tie died onesies and tee shirts.
(By the way, I know many of you (i.e. Dad) have some stereotypical ideas about what people do in Austin. So, no, we don’t Tie Die all the time! And no, we weren’t taking bong hits and listening to Bob Schneider either. Just wanted to clear that up.)
This is my friend Cupcake.
(Gotta love stealing photos from Facebook.)Isn’t she adorable? On top of the adorable thing, Cupcake is literally (and y’all know I hate when people misuse the word literally) the nicest person I’ve ever met. Cupcake likes esty.com, Anthopology, Glee, and of course cupcakes. She has cupcake ornaments on her Christmas tree, cupcake photos on her walls, a cupcake hanger thing on the back of her front door, and every cupcake making do-dad known to man. Also she has and teeny tiny little cupcake tattoo. Seriously adorable. She’s a nurse… in a children’s hospital. She takes care of her nephews and friend’s children like they are her own. She does yoga and ballet and river surfing. She was really upset this past weekend that someone at her work, who is crazy, might, maybe, kinda sorta not like her. She is the nicest person in the world.
She is also a cat person.
This is Cooper Seris, Cupcake’s cat.
This is Cooper Seris getting into his Santa outfit on Sunday to show LSU Friend and me.
Cupcake: “Cooper Seris! Hold still silly. You know you love your Santa Outfit. Don’t you want our friends to see you all dressed up?”
Cooper Seris: “Stop holding me down woman!”
Cupcake: “Look how cute your little waist is…”
Cooper Seris: “I die. My hips are huge in this thing.”
Cooper Seris: “If you put this picture on the web I will hunt you down and gut you like a fish.”
Cupcake: (standing next to me) “Cooper! Look this way. Look at Momma. Cooper…”Cooper Seris: “Come on lady. Take the flipping photo already…”
Cooper Seris: “I fucking hate my life.”
Cupcake: “Smile for me, kitty...”
Cooper Seris: “Someone kill me now.”
Oh and here are two pictures of our tie died onesies and tee shirts.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Halloween!!! It's (almost) only a month away...
I have giant floor to ceiling windows in my office, and lately I feel like all they do is trick me into thinking the weather might finally be changing and fall might be coming to Austin. Three weeks ago, one of Boyfriend’s friends called me to get us both to join his Fantasy Football League. He lives in Minnesota and three weeks ago it was 55 degrees! He told me he wore gloves and a beanie to work that morning. I miss fall weather like that. When we lived in Germany during my high school years, we might get one or two football game in before we gave up wearing our normal Cheerleading outfits and added gloves, sweatshirts, and beanies. Boyfriend always says that fall comes to Texas the week of his birthday, and honestly ever since we have been dating (for the past four years) come October 20th, it does get cooler.
It has been rainy here, and I think it’s the rain that tricks me into thinking it could be cooler outside. Plus, my windows are tinted, so everything looks just a little darker. That’s it. Tinted windows and rainy days are enough to trick my mind into believing it might be 65 outside. But it’s not.
One of my favorite things about fall is Halloween. Growing up I loved Halloween. I loved deciding what costume I would wear trick-or-treating and talking to all my friends about what they would be. I liked going to the Commissary with my mom in buying huge bags of candy for the kids in our neighborhood. Even when I was young enough to trick-or-treat, I still loved watching the other kids and seeing all the fun and creative costumes. Halloween is totally Fashion Week for eight year olds.
Costumes I’ve worn on Halloween…
Rainbow Bright
Bridal Tutu from my ballet recital the year before
Witch
Clown/Jester with cool mask
Cat
What is weird is I can’t remember at all what I dressed up as when we lived in Yorktown, Virginia. I know I must have been something, because I think one year I went trick-or-treating with my friend Jennifer and the other year I must have gone around the neighborhood with Michael Pienkowski, but I can’t for the life of me think about what I would have gone as.
When you get older, Halloween becomes (to quote Mean Girls) “The one night a year a girl can dress as a total slut and no other girls can say anything mean about her”. I did this once for a Halloween party Davis Girl, Old Roommate, and I threw my 2nd year of college. Hosting a bad ass Halloween Party was on my list of Things To Do Before I Turn 25 and I marked it off after that night. Yes, when you get older Halloween pretty much becomes a girl’s “pass night” for dressing like a common whore. There are three main ways girls do this.
How to be a Whore on Halloween and be totally acceptable…
Add Animal Ears. (Again to quote Mean Girls) Gretchen - “What are you suppose to be?” Karen – (pointing to her fake grey ears) “I’m a mouse, duh.” Yes, adding any type of animal ear to your slutty dress or, if you’re really daring, your lingerie makes a great Halloween costume.
Add Wings. The year of my slutty début I went with this option. Slutty black dress, fishnets, high heels, and wings… "look ma I’m a fairy! A slutty fairy, but a fairy…"
Kindergarten Career. Okay no, I’m not trying to be gross or pedophile like. What I mean is if you walk into a Kindergarten class and asked the little boys and girls what they want to be when they grow, whatever they tell you will be a great slutty Halloween costume. Policeman! Nurse! Pirate! (What? You can want to be a pirate when you grow up…) All of these occupations make great slutty Halloween outfits.
This is my problem with Halloween now. I am too old to trick-or-treat. Which sucks, because when I was in college I would have lived off that candy for the whole month of November and thus had more beer money. I feel like I’ve already grown out of my “slutty girl” phase, and finding an age appropriate costume (that wouldn’t make me blush in front of my parents) is a challenge.
Since “Slutty Girl” Fairy costume, other costumes I’ve had…
Paris Hilton complete with long blonde wig and stuffed dog.
Amy Winehouse and I teased my own hair into a beehive.
Another problem I have with Halloween is planning what to do. When you are little there is nothing else but dressing up and parading around your neighborhood with your siblings or friends. Therefore there really isn’t that much planning except for deciding whose mom will walk with y’all and what side of the street to start on. Slutty phase meant picking a party or going downtown and taking a chance of getting stabbed with dirty needles. (Yeah I live in a sick town…)
Some people really love Halloween and throw parties every year until they die, and I totally wish I knew people like this. Evidently my sister’s in-laws are like this. I’m jealous that every year she has a built in excuse to get dressed up. Lately ever year my friends and I are scrambling to find somewhere to go last minute because we all want to get dressed up. (Well my friends besides Boyfriend because he thinks getting dressed up is stupid which might be his biggest flaw.)
Halloween Costumes I’ve seen that I wish I thought up…
Lego Men. Old Roommate and his buddy did this one year. They went to Cosco and bought giant barrels of Pretzels. They threw the pretzels out and panted the barrels yellow and cut holes for eyes. They then painted the rest of the Lego face. The rest of the costume was just blue jeans and red T-Shirts with Yellow gloves. They looked awesome!
Bob Barker Beauties: LSU Friend, Cupcake, and another one of their friends did this one year. It was so simple. A fun sparkly dress (because who doesn’t want to wear a fun sparkly dress), big teased hair, and a large arrow sign to point to “awesome and fabulous” prizes. You get extra credit if you can get a guy to wear a white wig and carry around a very long, very thin microphone.
Bride from Kill Bill. My sister did this last year and it turned out amazing. All she wore was an old white dress, but she got to have a lot of fun with bloody make up. Oh, and you should be barefoot.
I know it’s not October yet, but I wanted to write this post early to get ideas for costumes and what my friends and I should do this year. Please help us out!
Also, thanks to everyone who is reading. Last week I finally put a counter up and I got almost 300 hits. I’m not sure if this is good or bad in the whole wide world of blogging, but it made me feel pretty great. Also, I wanted to thank you guys who post my link on their Facebook pages or status’ as it then reaches more people I don’t know. (Sister, you are awesome at this!) Don’t forget to follow and leave comments. Again, thanks for reading. I hope you all enjoy this blog as much as I do.
It has been rainy here, and I think it’s the rain that tricks me into thinking it could be cooler outside. Plus, my windows are tinted, so everything looks just a little darker. That’s it. Tinted windows and rainy days are enough to trick my mind into believing it might be 65 outside. But it’s not.
One of my favorite things about fall is Halloween. Growing up I loved Halloween. I loved deciding what costume I would wear trick-or-treating and talking to all my friends about what they would be. I liked going to the Commissary with my mom in buying huge bags of candy for the kids in our neighborhood. Even when I was young enough to trick-or-treat, I still loved watching the other kids and seeing all the fun and creative costumes. Halloween is totally Fashion Week for eight year olds.
Costumes I’ve worn on Halloween…
Rainbow Bright
Bridal Tutu from my ballet recital the year before
Witch
Clown/Jester with cool mask
Cat
What is weird is I can’t remember at all what I dressed up as when we lived in Yorktown, Virginia. I know I must have been something, because I think one year I went trick-or-treating with my friend Jennifer and the other year I must have gone around the neighborhood with Michael Pienkowski, but I can’t for the life of me think about what I would have gone as.
When you get older, Halloween becomes (to quote Mean Girls) “The one night a year a girl can dress as a total slut and no other girls can say anything mean about her”. I did this once for a Halloween party Davis Girl, Old Roommate, and I threw my 2nd year of college. Hosting a bad ass Halloween Party was on my list of Things To Do Before I Turn 25 and I marked it off after that night. Yes, when you get older Halloween pretty much becomes a girl’s “pass night” for dressing like a common whore. There are three main ways girls do this.
How to be a Whore on Halloween and be totally acceptable…
Add Animal Ears. (Again to quote Mean Girls) Gretchen - “What are you suppose to be?” Karen – (pointing to her fake grey ears) “I’m a mouse, duh.” Yes, adding any type of animal ear to your slutty dress or, if you’re really daring, your lingerie makes a great Halloween costume.
Add Wings. The year of my slutty début I went with this option. Slutty black dress, fishnets, high heels, and wings… "look ma I’m a fairy! A slutty fairy, but a fairy…"
Kindergarten Career. Okay no, I’m not trying to be gross or pedophile like. What I mean is if you walk into a Kindergarten class and asked the little boys and girls what they want to be when they grow, whatever they tell you will be a great slutty Halloween costume. Policeman! Nurse! Pirate! (What? You can want to be a pirate when you grow up…) All of these occupations make great slutty Halloween outfits.
This is my problem with Halloween now. I am too old to trick-or-treat. Which sucks, because when I was in college I would have lived off that candy for the whole month of November and thus had more beer money. I feel like I’ve already grown out of my “slutty girl” phase, and finding an age appropriate costume (that wouldn’t make me blush in front of my parents) is a challenge.
Since “Slutty Girl” Fairy costume, other costumes I’ve had…
Paris Hilton complete with long blonde wig and stuffed dog.
Amy Winehouse and I teased my own hair into a beehive.
Another problem I have with Halloween is planning what to do. When you are little there is nothing else but dressing up and parading around your neighborhood with your siblings or friends. Therefore there really isn’t that much planning except for deciding whose mom will walk with y’all and what side of the street to start on. Slutty phase meant picking a party or going downtown and taking a chance of getting stabbed with dirty needles. (Yeah I live in a sick town…)
Some people really love Halloween and throw parties every year until they die, and I totally wish I knew people like this. Evidently my sister’s in-laws are like this. I’m jealous that every year she has a built in excuse to get dressed up. Lately ever year my friends and I are scrambling to find somewhere to go last minute because we all want to get dressed up. (Well my friends besides Boyfriend because he thinks getting dressed up is stupid which might be his biggest flaw.)
Halloween Costumes I’ve seen that I wish I thought up…
Lego Men. Old Roommate and his buddy did this one year. They went to Cosco and bought giant barrels of Pretzels. They threw the pretzels out and panted the barrels yellow and cut holes for eyes. They then painted the rest of the Lego face. The rest of the costume was just blue jeans and red T-Shirts with Yellow gloves. They looked awesome!
Bob Barker Beauties: LSU Friend, Cupcake, and another one of their friends did this one year. It was so simple. A fun sparkly dress (because who doesn’t want to wear a fun sparkly dress), big teased hair, and a large arrow sign to point to “awesome and fabulous” prizes. You get extra credit if you can get a guy to wear a white wig and carry around a very long, very thin microphone.
Bride from Kill Bill. My sister did this last year and it turned out amazing. All she wore was an old white dress, but she got to have a lot of fun with bloody make up. Oh, and you should be barefoot.
I know it’s not October yet, but I wanted to write this post early to get ideas for costumes and what my friends and I should do this year. Please help us out!
Also, thanks to everyone who is reading. Last week I finally put a counter up and I got almost 300 hits. I’m not sure if this is good or bad in the whole wide world of blogging, but it made me feel pretty great. Also, I wanted to thank you guys who post my link on their Facebook pages or status’ as it then reaches more people I don’t know. (Sister, you are awesome at this!) Don’t forget to follow and leave comments. Again, thanks for reading. I hope you all enjoy this blog as much as I do.
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