Two things...
I like that I'm skinnier now than I was in these photos.
I also like that in the second picture it looks like there is a black cat riding on my head. Or hanging out, whatever.
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Proof of Awesomeness: Not To Toot My Own Horn Or Anything...
I know these are really late, but better late than never, right?
Two things...
I like that I'm skinnier now than I was in these photos.
I also like that in the second picture it looks like there is a black cat riding on my head. Or hanging out, whatever.
Two things...
I like that I'm skinnier now than I was in these photos.
I also like that in the second picture it looks like there is a black cat riding on my head. Or hanging out, whatever.
Monday, November 1, 2010
I Almost Ate An Entire Bag of Halloween Candy Just to Prove Boyfriend Wrong...
I almost had a small heart attack last night. I thought, just for a second or two, I wasn’t going to have any trick-or-treaters come to my door. I’ve been excepting kiddos to come to my house on Halloween ever since we moved in last summer, but I’ve been trying to down play how excited I was because last year when I thought I would have trick-or-treaters I didn’t get any and Boyfriend made fun of me for buying and crap load of candy. This year I didn’t buy any crazy decorations or dish out 12.99 for a pumpkin and I only bought one bag of candy.
6:00PM Halloween Night…
Boyfriend: (talking to me on the couch while I’m reading and he’s watching football) “You need to go pick up the Laundry.”
Me: “Doesn’t the place close at 9? I’m not going now because the trick-or-treaters will be here very soon.”
Boyfriend: “We aren’t going to have any trick-or-treaters!”
Me: “Yes, we are and when they come to my door I will be there with candy for them!”
Boyfriend: “Fine. I’ll go get the laundry.”
Me: “I’ll go. I just won’t go until later, after the kids come begging for sugar.”
Boyfriend: “No, you’re right. You’ve been waiting to this all weekend. (Um, more like since June) You stay. I’ll go and I’ll pick up another bag of candy on the way home. But, before you get all excited about the hundreds of kids that will tramping up and down our front stairs, why don’t you look out the window.”
Me: “Why, what’s outsi… WFT?!?!?!”
Yeah, so here I am defending the children of my neighborhood from evil Boyfriend who doesn’t think they will come and ask for treats and I look outside and see kids with their parents SKIPPING OVER MY HOUSE!!!
Me: “What the F? Are we not good enough for those little brats? Is our house not cool enough? Do we deserve to be the bottom feeders of our street because we didn’t shell out hard earned money for a black light or black trash bags to make a haunted house? (Thank you over achieving neighbors across the street.)”
Boyfriend: “They clearly are discriminating against us because it is obvious we are a rental and that means we are young and have no kids and must do lots of drugs and poison candy.”
Me: “So what if we rent! Does that mean my Kit Kats aren’t as good as Mr. Long Time Resident across the street? Hell no! And so what if we poison our candy, isn’t that what parents are for? Good parenting is not not letting your kid go to rental house. Good parenting is checking the candy for poison and razor blades before their little brats eat it!”
Boyfriend: “Why don’t you just sit outside? Then everyone will know you’re not creepy and they will let their kids take candy from you."
Me: “And get eaten alive my mosquitoes? I don’t think so.”
It’s at about this time in the conversation that three kids have passed up our house (I know this because I keep peering out the front window) and Boyfriend leaves to go pick up our laundry. I sit on the couch getting madder and madder.
Me: (totally internally now) “Pass by my house. Snobs! All of you. Just because there isn’t a Lexus under my carport… Besides those kids were all alone with their parents. No friends, no siblings… They were probably the really over baring, protective types that didn’t have kids until they were 45. Snobs. This is what I get for living in central Austin. If we lived down south or up north this wouldn’t have happened. Kids would be lining up for my Almond Joys.”
A few minutes of stewing later…
Me: (again to myself) “What if no one really does come? Boyfriend is going to rub it in for weeks that I hid candy from him so he wouldn’t eat it, just to have no trick-or-treaters anyway. (Grabbing a Hershey’s Bar) Maybe I should just eat it all. Yeah, I’ll eat it all and then when boyfriend comes back I’ll just tell him we had a crazy big rush and it’s all gone and why didn’t he pick up another bag of candy while he was out. And I’ll take all the wrappers out and throw them away in my neighbor’s trash can. Or I don’t have to eat all the candy, but save some of it in my underwear drawer. Yeah, that way I’ll have some left over… Reeses Peanut Butter Cups for a few months sounds like a good plan to me.”
Luckily before I started smashing chocolate in my mouth there was a loud knock at my door followed by the beautiful music that is, “Trick or Treat!”
I had lots of very cute kids come to my door. Snow White was very popular and so was Spider Man. My favorite was a girl who looked about 10 in a gypsy costume. The cutest was a tie between a little guy dressed up as a dinosaur who cried when his mother picked him up to walk down my porch stairs because he wanted to walk them by himself. This seemed like a pretty reasonable request to me, and I watched as his mom put him back at the top of the stairs and he slowly walked them all by himself. The other cutie was a robot of about 4 who came to the door with his little sister (3 maybe) who was dressed up like a mermaid. He made sure she held her bag open and told me not to give her candy until she said, “trick or treat” then he got his candy, looked me straight in the eye and said, “You have a very happy Halloween.” I told him, “Yes Sir, I’ll try.”
6:00PM Halloween Night…
Boyfriend: (talking to me on the couch while I’m reading and he’s watching football) “You need to go pick up the Laundry.”
Me: “Doesn’t the place close at 9? I’m not going now because the trick-or-treaters will be here very soon.”
Boyfriend: “We aren’t going to have any trick-or-treaters!”
Me: “Yes, we are and when they come to my door I will be there with candy for them!”
Boyfriend: “Fine. I’ll go get the laundry.”
Me: “I’ll go. I just won’t go until later, after the kids come begging for sugar.”
Boyfriend: “No, you’re right. You’ve been waiting to this all weekend. (Um, more like since June) You stay. I’ll go and I’ll pick up another bag of candy on the way home. But, before you get all excited about the hundreds of kids that will tramping up and down our front stairs, why don’t you look out the window.”
Me: “Why, what’s outsi… WFT?!?!?!”
Yeah, so here I am defending the children of my neighborhood from evil Boyfriend who doesn’t think they will come and ask for treats and I look outside and see kids with their parents SKIPPING OVER MY HOUSE!!!
Me: “What the F? Are we not good enough for those little brats? Is our house not cool enough? Do we deserve to be the bottom feeders of our street because we didn’t shell out hard earned money for a black light or black trash bags to make a haunted house? (Thank you over achieving neighbors across the street.)”
Boyfriend: “They clearly are discriminating against us because it is obvious we are a rental and that means we are young and have no kids and must do lots of drugs and poison candy.”
Me: “So what if we rent! Does that mean my Kit Kats aren’t as good as Mr. Long Time Resident across the street? Hell no! And so what if we poison our candy, isn’t that what parents are for? Good parenting is not not letting your kid go to rental house. Good parenting is checking the candy for poison and razor blades before their little brats eat it!”
Boyfriend: “Why don’t you just sit outside? Then everyone will know you’re not creepy and they will let their kids take candy from you."
Me: “And get eaten alive my mosquitoes? I don’t think so.”
It’s at about this time in the conversation that three kids have passed up our house (I know this because I keep peering out the front window) and Boyfriend leaves to go pick up our laundry. I sit on the couch getting madder and madder.
Me: (totally internally now) “Pass by my house. Snobs! All of you. Just because there isn’t a Lexus under my carport… Besides those kids were all alone with their parents. No friends, no siblings… They were probably the really over baring, protective types that didn’t have kids until they were 45. Snobs. This is what I get for living in central Austin. If we lived down south or up north this wouldn’t have happened. Kids would be lining up for my Almond Joys.”
A few minutes of stewing later…
Me: (again to myself) “What if no one really does come? Boyfriend is going to rub it in for weeks that I hid candy from him so he wouldn’t eat it, just to have no trick-or-treaters anyway. (Grabbing a Hershey’s Bar) Maybe I should just eat it all. Yeah, I’ll eat it all and then when boyfriend comes back I’ll just tell him we had a crazy big rush and it’s all gone and why didn’t he pick up another bag of candy while he was out. And I’ll take all the wrappers out and throw them away in my neighbor’s trash can. Or I don’t have to eat all the candy, but save some of it in my underwear drawer. Yeah, that way I’ll have some left over… Reeses Peanut Butter Cups for a few months sounds like a good plan to me.”
Luckily before I started smashing chocolate in my mouth there was a loud knock at my door followed by the beautiful music that is, “Trick or Treat!”
I had lots of very cute kids come to my door. Snow White was very popular and so was Spider Man. My favorite was a girl who looked about 10 in a gypsy costume. The cutest was a tie between a little guy dressed up as a dinosaur who cried when his mother picked him up to walk down my porch stairs because he wanted to walk them by himself. This seemed like a pretty reasonable request to me, and I watched as his mom put him back at the top of the stairs and he slowly walked them all by himself. The other cutie was a robot of about 4 who came to the door with his little sister (3 maybe) who was dressed up like a mermaid. He made sure she held her bag open and told me not to give her candy until she said, “trick or treat” then he got his candy, looked me straight in the eye and said, “You have a very happy Halloween.” I told him, “Yes Sir, I’ll try.”
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Halloween!!! It's (almost) only a month away...
I have giant floor to ceiling windows in my office, and lately I feel like all they do is trick me into thinking the weather might finally be changing and fall might be coming to Austin. Three weeks ago, one of Boyfriend’s friends called me to get us both to join his Fantasy Football League. He lives in Minnesota and three weeks ago it was 55 degrees! He told me he wore gloves and a beanie to work that morning. I miss fall weather like that. When we lived in Germany during my high school years, we might get one or two football game in before we gave up wearing our normal Cheerleading outfits and added gloves, sweatshirts, and beanies. Boyfriend always says that fall comes to Texas the week of his birthday, and honestly ever since we have been dating (for the past four years) come October 20th, it does get cooler.
It has been rainy here, and I think it’s the rain that tricks me into thinking it could be cooler outside. Plus, my windows are tinted, so everything looks just a little darker. That’s it. Tinted windows and rainy days are enough to trick my mind into believing it might be 65 outside. But it’s not.
One of my favorite things about fall is Halloween. Growing up I loved Halloween. I loved deciding what costume I would wear trick-or-treating and talking to all my friends about what they would be. I liked going to the Commissary with my mom in buying huge bags of candy for the kids in our neighborhood. Even when I was young enough to trick-or-treat, I still loved watching the other kids and seeing all the fun and creative costumes. Halloween is totally Fashion Week for eight year olds.
Costumes I’ve worn on Halloween…
Rainbow Bright
Bridal Tutu from my ballet recital the year before
Witch
Clown/Jester with cool mask
Cat
What is weird is I can’t remember at all what I dressed up as when we lived in Yorktown, Virginia. I know I must have been something, because I think one year I went trick-or-treating with my friend Jennifer and the other year I must have gone around the neighborhood with Michael Pienkowski, but I can’t for the life of me think about what I would have gone as.
When you get older, Halloween becomes (to quote Mean Girls) “The one night a year a girl can dress as a total slut and no other girls can say anything mean about her”. I did this once for a Halloween party Davis Girl, Old Roommate, and I threw my 2nd year of college. Hosting a bad ass Halloween Party was on my list of Things To Do Before I Turn 25 and I marked it off after that night. Yes, when you get older Halloween pretty much becomes a girl’s “pass night” for dressing like a common whore. There are three main ways girls do this.
How to be a Whore on Halloween and be totally acceptable…
Add Animal Ears. (Again to quote Mean Girls) Gretchen - “What are you suppose to be?” Karen – (pointing to her fake grey ears) “I’m a mouse, duh.” Yes, adding any type of animal ear to your slutty dress or, if you’re really daring, your lingerie makes a great Halloween costume.
Add Wings. The year of my slutty début I went with this option. Slutty black dress, fishnets, high heels, and wings… "look ma I’m a fairy! A slutty fairy, but a fairy…"
Kindergarten Career. Okay no, I’m not trying to be gross or pedophile like. What I mean is if you walk into a Kindergarten class and asked the little boys and girls what they want to be when they grow, whatever they tell you will be a great slutty Halloween costume. Policeman! Nurse! Pirate! (What? You can want to be a pirate when you grow up…) All of these occupations make great slutty Halloween outfits.
This is my problem with Halloween now. I am too old to trick-or-treat. Which sucks, because when I was in college I would have lived off that candy for the whole month of November and thus had more beer money. I feel like I’ve already grown out of my “slutty girl” phase, and finding an age appropriate costume (that wouldn’t make me blush in front of my parents) is a challenge.
Since “Slutty Girl” Fairy costume, other costumes I’ve had…
Paris Hilton complete with long blonde wig and stuffed dog.
Amy Winehouse and I teased my own hair into a beehive.
Another problem I have with Halloween is planning what to do. When you are little there is nothing else but dressing up and parading around your neighborhood with your siblings or friends. Therefore there really isn’t that much planning except for deciding whose mom will walk with y’all and what side of the street to start on. Slutty phase meant picking a party or going downtown and taking a chance of getting stabbed with dirty needles. (Yeah I live in a sick town…)
Some people really love Halloween and throw parties every year until they die, and I totally wish I knew people like this. Evidently my sister’s in-laws are like this. I’m jealous that every year she has a built in excuse to get dressed up. Lately ever year my friends and I are scrambling to find somewhere to go last minute because we all want to get dressed up. (Well my friends besides Boyfriend because he thinks getting dressed up is stupid which might be his biggest flaw.)
Halloween Costumes I’ve seen that I wish I thought up…
Lego Men. Old Roommate and his buddy did this one year. They went to Cosco and bought giant barrels of Pretzels. They threw the pretzels out and panted the barrels yellow and cut holes for eyes. They then painted the rest of the Lego face. The rest of the costume was just blue jeans and red T-Shirts with Yellow gloves. They looked awesome!
Bob Barker Beauties: LSU Friend, Cupcake, and another one of their friends did this one year. It was so simple. A fun sparkly dress (because who doesn’t want to wear a fun sparkly dress), big teased hair, and a large arrow sign to point to “awesome and fabulous” prizes. You get extra credit if you can get a guy to wear a white wig and carry around a very long, very thin microphone.
Bride from Kill Bill. My sister did this last year and it turned out amazing. All she wore was an old white dress, but she got to have a lot of fun with bloody make up. Oh, and you should be barefoot.
I know it’s not October yet, but I wanted to write this post early to get ideas for costumes and what my friends and I should do this year. Please help us out!
Also, thanks to everyone who is reading. Last week I finally put a counter up and I got almost 300 hits. I’m not sure if this is good or bad in the whole wide world of blogging, but it made me feel pretty great. Also, I wanted to thank you guys who post my link on their Facebook pages or status’ as it then reaches more people I don’t know. (Sister, you are awesome at this!) Don’t forget to follow and leave comments. Again, thanks for reading. I hope you all enjoy this blog as much as I do.
It has been rainy here, and I think it’s the rain that tricks me into thinking it could be cooler outside. Plus, my windows are tinted, so everything looks just a little darker. That’s it. Tinted windows and rainy days are enough to trick my mind into believing it might be 65 outside. But it’s not.
One of my favorite things about fall is Halloween. Growing up I loved Halloween. I loved deciding what costume I would wear trick-or-treating and talking to all my friends about what they would be. I liked going to the Commissary with my mom in buying huge bags of candy for the kids in our neighborhood. Even when I was young enough to trick-or-treat, I still loved watching the other kids and seeing all the fun and creative costumes. Halloween is totally Fashion Week for eight year olds.
Costumes I’ve worn on Halloween…
Rainbow Bright
Bridal Tutu from my ballet recital the year before
Witch
Clown/Jester with cool mask
Cat
What is weird is I can’t remember at all what I dressed up as when we lived in Yorktown, Virginia. I know I must have been something, because I think one year I went trick-or-treating with my friend Jennifer and the other year I must have gone around the neighborhood with Michael Pienkowski, but I can’t for the life of me think about what I would have gone as.
When you get older, Halloween becomes (to quote Mean Girls) “The one night a year a girl can dress as a total slut and no other girls can say anything mean about her”. I did this once for a Halloween party Davis Girl, Old Roommate, and I threw my 2nd year of college. Hosting a bad ass Halloween Party was on my list of Things To Do Before I Turn 25 and I marked it off after that night. Yes, when you get older Halloween pretty much becomes a girl’s “pass night” for dressing like a common whore. There are three main ways girls do this.
How to be a Whore on Halloween and be totally acceptable…
Add Animal Ears. (Again to quote Mean Girls) Gretchen - “What are you suppose to be?” Karen – (pointing to her fake grey ears) “I’m a mouse, duh.” Yes, adding any type of animal ear to your slutty dress or, if you’re really daring, your lingerie makes a great Halloween costume.
Add Wings. The year of my slutty début I went with this option. Slutty black dress, fishnets, high heels, and wings… "look ma I’m a fairy! A slutty fairy, but a fairy…"
Kindergarten Career. Okay no, I’m not trying to be gross or pedophile like. What I mean is if you walk into a Kindergarten class and asked the little boys and girls what they want to be when they grow, whatever they tell you will be a great slutty Halloween costume. Policeman! Nurse! Pirate! (What? You can want to be a pirate when you grow up…) All of these occupations make great slutty Halloween outfits.
This is my problem with Halloween now. I am too old to trick-or-treat. Which sucks, because when I was in college I would have lived off that candy for the whole month of November and thus had more beer money. I feel like I’ve already grown out of my “slutty girl” phase, and finding an age appropriate costume (that wouldn’t make me blush in front of my parents) is a challenge.
Since “Slutty Girl” Fairy costume, other costumes I’ve had…
Paris Hilton complete with long blonde wig and stuffed dog.
Amy Winehouse and I teased my own hair into a beehive.
Another problem I have with Halloween is planning what to do. When you are little there is nothing else but dressing up and parading around your neighborhood with your siblings or friends. Therefore there really isn’t that much planning except for deciding whose mom will walk with y’all and what side of the street to start on. Slutty phase meant picking a party or going downtown and taking a chance of getting stabbed with dirty needles. (Yeah I live in a sick town…)
Some people really love Halloween and throw parties every year until they die, and I totally wish I knew people like this. Evidently my sister’s in-laws are like this. I’m jealous that every year she has a built in excuse to get dressed up. Lately ever year my friends and I are scrambling to find somewhere to go last minute because we all want to get dressed up. (Well my friends besides Boyfriend because he thinks getting dressed up is stupid which might be his biggest flaw.)
Halloween Costumes I’ve seen that I wish I thought up…
Lego Men. Old Roommate and his buddy did this one year. They went to Cosco and bought giant barrels of Pretzels. They threw the pretzels out and panted the barrels yellow and cut holes for eyes. They then painted the rest of the Lego face. The rest of the costume was just blue jeans and red T-Shirts with Yellow gloves. They looked awesome!
Bob Barker Beauties: LSU Friend, Cupcake, and another one of their friends did this one year. It was so simple. A fun sparkly dress (because who doesn’t want to wear a fun sparkly dress), big teased hair, and a large arrow sign to point to “awesome and fabulous” prizes. You get extra credit if you can get a guy to wear a white wig and carry around a very long, very thin microphone.
Bride from Kill Bill. My sister did this last year and it turned out amazing. All she wore was an old white dress, but she got to have a lot of fun with bloody make up. Oh, and you should be barefoot.
I know it’s not October yet, but I wanted to write this post early to get ideas for costumes and what my friends and I should do this year. Please help us out!
Also, thanks to everyone who is reading. Last week I finally put a counter up and I got almost 300 hits. I’m not sure if this is good or bad in the whole wide world of blogging, but it made me feel pretty great. Also, I wanted to thank you guys who post my link on their Facebook pages or status’ as it then reaches more people I don’t know. (Sister, you are awesome at this!) Don’t forget to follow and leave comments. Again, thanks for reading. I hope you all enjoy this blog as much as I do.
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