Golden Globes 2011: The Best, The Ugly, and Then There Was Halle Berry...

Okay, so I’ll be honest with y’all, the Globes were happening live while I was driving home very hungover from Baton Rouge. Boyfriend was great and DVR’ed them for me because I completely 100% forgot that they were that weekend. This means I didn’t really watch the Globes in their entirety, but fast forwarded a whole lot, saw the winners, deleted the recording, and called it a day. I didn’t even get to hear all the widely inappropriate jokes Ricky Grevais spouted out all night. However, I did notice the dresses and every since Sunday I’ve been looking at them all over the internet. Some grew on me and others will always be ugly. Here are my thoughts on the good, the bad, and the “what the hell was she thinking?!?!”

First up, the good…

Best Dressed of the Night… Hailee Stienfeld Yes, she is 15 and can’t drive a car or get into a rated R movie. I don’t care. She looks 100% perfect. The dress is elegant, fitted well, and is totally appropriate for a 15 year old. She’s not showing off her boobies and her hair isn’t up done up like a Stepford Wife. She isn’t wearing 4 million dollars worth of jewelry. I love her turquoise clutch as a little pop of color. This is how young Hollywood should dress. Up and coming Disney stars, please take notes.

Best Color… Mila Kunis First things first, could Mia Kunis be anymore gorgeous? I don’t think so. Ever since That 70’s Show I’ve been waiting for her to be in a fabulous movie, just to see what she would wear on the red carpet. Out of all the green dresses we saw on Sunday night, Mila’s was the best. The emerald is perfect on her skin and it fits beautifully. The only thing I would have changed… a little bolder jewelry and maybe a brighter pink lip.

Best New Comer to the Red Carpet… Emma Stone
Okay, I get that she’s been in other movies. Superbad, anyone? But these Globes being her first, she looks great. I love the minimalist look of the dress and even thought I love Emma as a red head, I love the whole “peaches and cream” look with her blonde hair. Thank you Emma for wearing something different and pulling it off, even if you look like Kate Bosworth's twin.

Best “Inside Baby” Dress… Natalie Portman This dress has been a little controversial on the net. People have seemed to either love it or hate it. Personally I love the dress. It’s cute and playful and again something different. Yeah, she could have just worn a Greek Goddess dress in navy, but she didn’t. I love pink and red together and yes, I love the rose. The necklace is elegant and simple and not competing with the rose (which any jewelry could easily do). The only thing I would change, and yes I know I’m nit picking now, is the bag. I think it’s a little to matchy-matchy with the red rose and red shoes (which are awesome). I think silver would have been a better choice.

Sexiest Man… Kevin McHale I adore with kid! Well… boy… man… 23 year old. I loved him at the Emmy’s last year and I love him here. The jacket is fun and matches the fun show he is on. I mean he’s not nominated for the TV singer version of Schindler’s List. Why not have some fun. His glasses are downright sexy and even Kyra Sedgwick is licking her lips over him in the background. Keep it up Artie! Love, your biggest fan… Lemon Lady

Best Dressed Couple Channeling Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger… Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon Y’all remember this…
Well here is the 2011 version and I still love it. Yellow is a weakness color for me. Anyone who wears it and pulls it off is automatically a favorite of mine. Anyone who wears it with chunky, awesome gold and turquoise jewelry is even better. Plus, I love those new Kevin Bacon commercials where Kevin Bacon is pretending to be such a Kevin Bacon fan that he turned into Kevin Bacon… so funny.

Dress I’d Most Like to Wear… Amber Riley It’s awesome. She looks awesome. I want to rip it off her body and wear to the grocery store because if I owned a dress like that I would wear it EVERYWHERE!

And the bad…

Most Boring and Blah… Amy Adams I know I might take some slack for this, but I did not like Amy Adam’s dress on Sunday. I thought it was dull and boring and even more boring the more I look at is and try to dissect it. I will admit she looks great and has lost the baby weight. Congrats. Other than that I really don’t have anything nice to say. The color is dull. It’s not a rich navy or a deep royal blue but some “yawn like” in between blue. Plus the fabric that makes up the detail up top looks like formal living room curtains. There is a fan of formal living room curtains coming out of her hips. No bueno.

Ugliest Medieval Dress… Anne Hathaway This looks like chainmail. Like really ugly, gold spray painted chainmail. Or really ugly, gold spray painted back splash kitchen tile. I can’t make up my mind.

Dress Most Likely to Get Kicked Off Project Runway… Elizabeth Moss Bad. Really bad. It is over worked and doesn’t fit. It’s one of those Project Runway dresses where the designer thinks it looks amazing and fabulous and all the other contestants know it’s God awful and ill fitting but they don’t tell that designer and instead let him sink him/herself on the runway. Yeah, one of those…

Worst Barbie… January Jones She looks like Graduation Tassel Barbie… complete with plastic tatas. Not a good look.

Most Confused… Jennifer Love Hewitt Now I know it’s just mean to make fun of JLH. You know she wakes up every morning and looks at herself in the mirror and repeats the same mantra over and over again, “I did not peak in 1998. I did not peak in 1998. I did not peak…” This dress is half “I’m so desperate to married”, half I kinda look a giant clam, and half “am I and investment banker, because I seem to be carrying a giant white briefcase as a purse on the red carpet”.

Dress That Ate 13… Olivia Wilde Nom Nom Nom Nom…

Worst Printed Burlap Bag Dress… Michelle Williams There are good ways to do prints on the red carpet. Y’all remember Kate Hudson at the Golden Globes 7 years ago.
Gorgeous! Michelle Williams… not so much. It seriously looks like a brown canvas bag with ironed on daisies. The flower straps remind me of the sunflower craze in the 1990s. And not cool “oh Marc Jacobs trying to bring grunge back in the slouchy corduroy pant” way, but bad “I wore a dress with sunflowers on the straps to my cousin’s wedding in Oklahoma” way. Seriously all she is missing is the floppy Blossom hat.

Worst of the Night… Julianna Margulies Something must have happened. Something bad because I know Julianna wouldn’t show up to the Golden Globes with her hair thrown up off her face, no lipstick, wearing black Spanx with a pink sheet tied at her waist, and really ugly pointed black bridesmaid’s shoes if something hadn’t gone wrong.

Finally, what y’all have all been waiting for...

The “What the Hell was she thinking” Dress… Halle Berry
Duh.

Check out the Best and Worst hair and makeup from Sunday at A Dash of Perspective and say hi to New Friend A while your at it.

A Quick Little Post: Cookies!!!

New Friend A is thinking about starting a Cookie/Baked Goods business maybe through etsy.com. (Which is totally my favorite new website, by the way.) Because we are such good friends now, she included me in her list of Guinea Pigs to send trial cookie packages too. Awesome because I get fun mail, which still even after college is not lost on me, and yummy cookies to eat and hide from Boyfriend.

For A’s sake I will try to be as thorough as possible because I know she wants all the details about how her cookies made it all the way to Texas, but please remember that I was extremely excited to eat the cookies and really just wanted to rip the package open with my teeth…

This is how the box looked when it arrived yesterday. It was upright and the box wasn’t smooched or crunched in anyway. However (and I’m not sure if this is how she packaged it or not) there was a large gap under the clear tape across the top of the box. You can see it better in this photo…

Okay so here it really starts getting good… OMG the smell when I cut open the top of the box and pushed the flaps back!!! A made me peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies and they smelled like Jesus himself had cried tears into the batter. I wanted to eat the box, but then I remembered I could just eat the cookies inside, so I didn’t. Oh, and the little hand written note on the inside box was cute. (E – that’s me.)

Inside the inside box the cookies were wrapped in plastic wrap in pairs. All but one of the pairs of cookies was still in tact. Only one pair had pretty much fallen apart to become crumbs. But, yummy crumbs and I think peanut butter cookies are pretty crumbly so one out of the bunch wasn’t that bad.

Here you can see all the other cookies arrive still looking like whole cookies and ready to be eaten. (Boyfriend also wanted the picture to highlight my watch he gave me last summer and that’s why my hand looks awkward. At least I think it looks awkward.)

First bite…

Feast time…

I have to say the cookies were very good. You could defiantly taste that they were not store bought or from a tub of cookie dough. The chocolate chips were big and more like chocolate chunks. I personally like a lot of peanut butter taste and could have gone for a little more peanut butter, but Boyfriend said more would have been too much. The cookies were fat and still very moist and fresh, even after their trip across the country via the US Postal System. Also they were a good size. Not too big, not too small. The only thing that would have made them better would have been a big glass of ice cold milk in the package as well.

All in all, very yummy cookies!!!

Big thanks from Austin New Friend A!!!

New Friend A's Answers From Yestersay's Post: Does She Pass?

Thank you A for playing along with me yesterday.

Now, everyone else let’s analyze her answers…

1. Besides Germany where else have you lived?

"Nebraska, Mississippi, Florida, Las Vegas, The Azores, Iceland, Germany, Nebraska, Virginia."

Nebraska: Never been but Caliman is from Nebraska and he’s pretty cool. Plus 2
Mississippi: I cannot be okay with A spending time in a state that is so close to Alabama. Minus 1
Florida: I like the sun and beaches and alligators. Plus 1
Las Vegas: Gambling… fun. Living in Vegas before you’re 21… not fun. Minus 3
The Azores: When I first read her answer of The Azores I immediately ran to the bathroom to check out my map of the world shower curtain and properly locate The Azores. Here they are. A, told me last night that it was boring living there and I can’t believe that. Here is a picture of what people do in the Azores according to a travel website. I mean how is that not fun and exciting. Plus 5
Iceland: I would love to visit, but I would not love to live there. Draw
Germany: She met me! She was annoyed my me… Plus 2 anyway for Germany being awesome
Nebraska: Ick, why move back? Caliman is still from there, though. Plus 1 but no more for Nebraska
Virginia: History, Crab, and DC… Plus 1

Ending with 8 awesome points!

2. If you could be a tree, what kind of tree would you be and why? (Bonus points for knowing what movie the question is from.)

“Don’t know of the top of my head (Do share E!), and I think a magnolia, I love the beautiful flowers, or a weeping willow with Spanish moss hanging from it. Very southern, and I wish I would have been born southern, like 1800’s big beautiful dresses, ice teas on porches southern.”

Okay, so A doesn’t know the movie. (Minus 3) The question is from Drop Dead Gorgeous. It’s a mocumentary about The Mount Rose American Beauty Pageant in Mount Rose, Minnesota. It stars Kirsten Dunst, Kristie Alley, and Denise Richards and is FUCKING FUNNY!!! The question comes from the interview part of the pageant where all the contestants are asked that question except Kristen Dunst. She is being sabotaged by Kristie Alley and Denise Richards and is asked to name and spell all the states in alphabetical order instead.

As for A’s answers of either being a Weeping Willow or a Magnolia tree I give a solid Plus 2 for picking pretty trees.

3. Quick name your future children in 10 seconds or less!

“Boy, Jackson Thomas, girl, London Ann.”

Jackson is my nephew’s name but I knew a mean kid in 2nd grade named Thomas. Minus 1
London is my favorite city, and I like old fashion names like Ann. Plus 1 (would have been more if she spelled Ann with an E)

4. Deaf for the rest of your life or Blind? Which would you pick?

“Deaf, I get annoyed by stupid people and I would notice how stupid people are way less if I was deaf.”

The perfect answer. Plus 5

5. Do you think Tom Cruise has a middle tooth?

“I think Tom Cruise is part alien, so yes, he may very well have a middle tooth”

A is kinda beating around the bush here. The answer is yes. Check it out. But, I like that she explains the phenomena of the middle tooth by bringing up his alien status. Plus 2

Scenario and multiple choice questions next.

1. If you are traveling through life at a normal speed and then all of a sudden you reconnect with someone from your past (let’s call her Gertrude) and she turns out to be your long lost best friend, how long will it take you to get to Austin to hang out?

“Hope for more overtime for me, the visit will come faster that way. Know I am working on it. Soon, sooner if Sandra Bullock gets the same breakfast tacos as you, I think she would make a great big sister/mentor for us. I'm not sure if you like her, but I have a girl crush on her.”

Hoping for overtime – Minus 3
Knowing that she is working on it – Plus 1
A wanting Sandra Bullock to eat my breakfast tacos – Minus 5 (No one eats my breakfast tacos!)
A wanting Sandra Bullock to be my mentor – Minus 10 (And no I won’t watch the Blindside with you A)
A having a girl crush on Sandra Bullock – Plus 1 (I fully support love and crushes no matter on who… okay maybe not Hitler, but you get the idea.)

2. “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and sorry I could not travel both…” When you read these words do you think
A. Robert Frost I remember him from 9th grade.
B. Robert Frost, but not his best work.
C. That’s Robert Frost! That idiot I used to date passed that off as his own work!
D. I fucking hate Robert Frost.

“C, like I said, DOUCHE”

Wow, A really doesn’t like her Ex and she calls him a Douche, but who am I to judge. Anyone who knows Ex-Boyfriend… yeah, I’m in no place to judge. Plus 1

3. In first grade you thought…
A. Boys are icky
B. Boys are cute
C. Girls are cute
D. Girls throw you in the big bathroom stalls

“B, his name was Wesley, I invented a game called chase Wesley. It involved chasing the cute blond hair, blue eyed boy and trying to kiss him. If you are reading this Wesley, I am very sorry. And I still love blond hair and blue eyes.”

A, I completely understand. My Wesley was named Lee, and we put stickers on the sticker chart for our teacher after school. And I was totally head over heels in love with his blond hair. Plus 5

4. If your friend called you in the middle of the night letting you know that she and 20 other people were in the middle of a field about to sacrifice a baby lamb as part of a cult ritual that was very important to them, but she forgot her lamb killing knife at her house, you would go break into her house and bring her the knife?

“Chances are I would already be in the field with friend, and would have made sure we had everything needed for weird cult (I am weirdly organized in projects and work, but not my house. Working on making new house better.) If I wasn't there, I would get it, and feel really hurt and left out, and of course, creeped out and expecting to be invited over to friend's house for a lamb dinner.”

Great answer A. Really, better that I probably would have answered. I was expecting a “yeah sure I’d run over to help you even if you had to brutally murder a poor innocent little lamb”, but you totally one upped my answer by instating that duh, you’d be there with me. Then I got to thinking, “yeah, that’s right.” “If she really is my friend, she would be there with me” Even more awesome is that you are prepared because I am not. Just ask my parents… When I go down to visit them I always forget something! It never fails. And you like to cook. A lamb stew making friend is a good friend to have. Plus 5

Ending with positive 10 points!
Congrats A!

Introducing My New Friend and Some Thoughts on High School...

I know I've written several times on my blog about how appreciative I am of everyone’s kind words about my writing. I know it sounds silly, but I feel like I can really be myself when I sit behind my computer and type out my thoughts, as crazy as they sometimes are.

I feel like I’ve had a hard time expressing who I am since I was a senior in high school. It was when I had just moved back to San Antonio from Germany and I quickly understood that I was different. I had been places and seen things and known people and been in situations that not a one of the 3500 people I went to school with understood. It made me incredibly lonely. The feeling was not of not having friends or of leaving behind a boy friend or a loved one, but of being around perfectly normal people (some of them being my very best friends still today) and knowing that no matter how hard I try to put certain things into words, I can never find the right ones to explain what it is like to grow up (because I believe I really did grow up in those two years in Germany) across an ocean. When I tried talking about it, about my life and experience, people quickly dismissed me. They either didn’t care to listen, didn’t know how to listen, were bored, or were jealous. At that point in my life, I don’t think I was strong enough know that the people who mattered in my life would listen and try to understand and I shouldn’t worry about everyone else. But I couldn’t comprehend that idea when I was eighteen so I just didn’t say much to anyone about how I really felt about anything. For a whole year I just buzzed along not saying much at all. I didn’t want to talk about the places I had been and the different experience I had seen because I thought people would think I was bragging and full of myself.

This feeling of, “am I saying too much”, this feeling of, “should I stop talking about myself” had haunted me ever since. As crazy as I can be sometimes, as hyper as I can be sometimes, I think of myself as a pretty reserved person. I’m an introvert. I like being by myself and I like thinking my thoughts and keeping them to myself. I’m used to this and it is easy for me. At work, I spend a whole lot of my day listening to other people talk about their lives and I’m okay with this.

The best part of the past three month and writing this blog has been slowly letting the idea that people will just think I’m always talking about myself or I’m bragging or I’m full of myself slip out the window. I’m learning that not only do people value what I have to say, but they look forward to hearing it. At Best Friend’s wedding so many people thanked me for making them laugh. I have gotten comments from people I don’t even know that are positive and that urge me to keep up the good work. And one other thing has happened. I feel like I’ve made a friend.

Making a friend is a big deal for me. You all read about how I forced Best Friend into her actually being my best friend. I will be the first person to admit that when I get married my family will greatly outnumber the number of friends in attendance. I just don’t have a lot of friends. When I started hanging out with LSU Friend a few years ago I embarrassed myself by telling her that she was my only friend. You see I have a whole lot of acquaintances (work friends, Boyfriend’s friends, and other random people I know… about 99 percent of my Facebook friends) and I have a few Best Friends… and that’s it. Davis Girl, Best Friend, Boy Friend, and I would probably rank LSU Friend in this list as well now, are my only real friends. (This list doesn’t include my family that I’m really close to like Sister, Boy Friend’s Sister, and Awesome Cousin.) I have come to terms with the fact that I’m just not a very popular person. It’s all good.

Introducing my new friend and long time LemonsLemonsLemons reader… A

(Yes, A. Yes, I know it’s very Gossip Girl. Get over it.)

This is A. (Well, A in 2001)

Things from high school I know about A…

I met A in high school in Germany. She was year ahead of me and I’m not going to lie she kinda annoyed me. Not because I had ever met her, but because her name is very similar to my own. Okay I don’t use names on this blog so bare with me. Imagine you have an unpopular name… like really unpopular and old fashion and you are used to no one you know having that name. Example, Gertrude. Now imagine being in school a year behind someone with a name very similar to yours, like Bertrude. It sounds very much like your name and she had all the same teachers you have this year last year and she trained them all to say Bertrude, but Bertrude isn’t your name it’s Gertrude. So, all year long you are correcting your teachers reminding them that your name is with a B and not a G!

Besides the name connection, I then learned about A from this guy in my sophomore year English class. He just so happened to be dating A, and for some reason he would sit in the back of class with me and tell me all about their relationship. One specific detail, which I won’t mention because like I said A in my new friend and her co-workers might be reading this and I’m not quite sure that boy wasn’t just making it up, was extremely graphic and vivid.

Yup, so that’s what I knew about A. Her name pissed me off and her boyfriend was kinda obnoxious.

(Oh, and I’m like 85% sure we had economics together when I was a junior and she was senior, but really the only thing I remember from that class was when we had to give a presentation to the class about a make believe product we were marketing and I gave my presentation and immediately after ran straight to the bathroom and threw up like crazy because I was really sick and I shouldn’t have eaten Popeyes for lunch.)

Thing I now know about A…

She likes to cook.

She doesn’t like that she can’t get good breakfast tacos on the east coast and wishes I wouldn’t write about them so much.

She is engaged and getting married on the beach… in way awesome shoes and maybe a dress, but she hasn’t found that yet.

She just moved into a new house and got away from some really crazy loud neighbors who drove her insane.

She has a lot going on on her Facebook page including liking Survivor (awesome), Lady Gaga (even more awesome), and On The Road (the most awesome).

I feel bad because I don’t know much else about her. So I propose a few questions for new friend A.

1. Besides Germany, where else did you live?

2. If you could be any tree what tree would you be and why? (Bonus point for knowing what movie that is from)

3. Quick name you future children in 10 seconds or less!

4. Deaf for the rest of your life, or blind? Which would you pick? (and yes you have to pick)

5. Do you think Tom Cruise has a middle tooth?

I also propose a few scenarios and multiple choice questions…

1. If you are traveling through life at a normal speed and then all of a sudden you reconnect with someone from your past (let’s call her Gertrude) and she turns out to be your long lost best friend, how long will it take you to get to Austin to hang out?

2. “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and sorry I could not travel both…” When you read these words do you think
A. Robert Frost I remember him from 9th grade.
B. Robert Frost, but not his best work.
C. That’s Robert Frost! That idiot I used to date passed that off as his own work!
D. I fucking hate Robert Frost.

3. In first grade you thought…
A. Boys are icky
B. Boys are cute
C. Girls are cute
D. Girls throw you in the big bathroom stalls

4. If your friend called you in the middle of the night letting you know that she and 20 other people were in the middle of a field about to sacrifice a baby lamb as part of a cult ritual that was very important to them, but she forgot her lamb killing knife at her house, you would go break into her house and bring her the knife?

Although I propose these questions to A and I expect to get them back soon and fully analyze them, please anyone feel free to answer as well.