First Post... In which I defend my mother's honor

I started a blog. Why that will come later. But first a true story from lunch today.
Why North Austin is just as crappy as any other large city.
True story.
This happened to during my lunch hour. Co-worker and I decided to eat real food. By real food I mean we didn’t cram fast food into our mouths at 50 miles per hour in between appointments because students never let you eat. P F Changs is only a quarter of a mile away and very empty at 3PM. Well almost empty. Evidently evil house wives with nothing better to do than spread their evil neuron rays from their giant SUVs go to P F Changs at 3PM. Co-worker and I leave work in good spirits and are chatting the whole half a minute drive to the yummy heaven that is the Chang. Co-Worker (who is driving) parks and exits her car without any troubles. I exit the car and stand next to it for a few seconds with the door open because I am trying to figure out how to look the door. As soon as I close the door Evil North Austin Crazed Mother jumps out behind the wheel of her giant, impeccably white SUV and pounces. She gives me the once over with her evil eyes and points out that I have rammed Co-Workers door into her car door so hard “that it shook the car and her children pointed out that I must be an evil bitch because I clearly want to hurt their mother and kidnap them” or something like that.
Now, honest to God, the first thought in my head was I don’t remember banging her door. Thought number 2, not only do I not remember banging her car door but I don’t remember banging her car door and endangering the lives of her children. Thought number 3, I was talking with Co-Worker and she does have a two door car with those weirdly long doors so I might have hit her car door. Thought number 4, wow I’m embarrassed and really sorry because I definitely didn’t mean to hit her impeccably white, impeccably clean SUV with C0-workers 10 year Civic. Also, I am a very fast thinker and these thoughts all happened in the 3 second it took me to say “Wow, I am so sorry. Really you’re car is fine, but again, I’m so sorry.” Now had this been anyone but Evil North Austin Crazed Mother, she would have said, “Oh look. You’re right my car is fine. I am happy my incredibly white doors are not bleeding and my children are still safe. Thank you for apologizing and God Bless.” Yeah… no such luck.
“You jumped out of your car jabbering with your friend, not looking at all….” (Really? Is she serious?) “My children are in this car…” (Got it lady. You have kids. They are in said car.) “And I teach my children to look before they fling open doors!” This is when I start getting really annoyed. Actually something goes off in my brain where this is no longer a slightly embarrassing situation, this is war. “Are you saying my mother didn’t teach me how to open doors and be a good productive citizen and to have good manners.” Okay I really didn’t say the productive citizen thing, but I totally called her out on dissing my wonderful, amazing, perfect mother. In hind sight I should have just looked her in the eye and asked her if she is really the perfect mother who has never made a mistake in front of her kids like spitting gum out on the sidewalk, saying “fuck” under her breath when she stubbed her toe, or accidently opening a car door a little to far and hitting another car. But no I looked her straight in the eye and told her “don’t fucking say shit about the way my mother raised me!!!” in way or another.
When we got inside there were only two other tables occupied in the whole place. Guess who wasn’t leaving P F Changs, but was also on their way into the restaurant? That’s right at 3PM on Tuesday the 13th there were four tables with people at the at P F Changs. Woman alone reading the paper, couple finishing their beers, Co-worker and I, and Evil North Austin Crazed Mother with her two kids. I glared there direction the whole time.