Project Runway Episode 2: Purple Linebackers, Jumpsuits, and Waking Up Dead... Literally

So, my bad this wasn't posted yesterday, but I was having problems getting the photos. All is good now. Enjoy...

Project Runway week two.

This week's episode opens up with all the designers rolling out of bed complaining of exhaustion. I have read that Project Runway has a ridiculous filming schedule and they work 18 hours days, but come on, it's only episode two. Sarah says she "wakes up dead, literally". I hate when people use the word literally incorrect. David Cross does a whole bit about this in one of his stand ups. When you miss use the word literally you actually use it in the complete opposite way you mean to use it. "I literally woke up dead." NO YOU F-ING DIDN'T MORON!!!! (Oh and we learn that Andy uses air brush make up.)

Joanna Coles, the editor-in-chief for Marie Clair, joins Heidi and Tim to announce this weeks challenge. The designers get one day and 150$ to create a look that tells the world who the Marie Clare women is. I read Marie Clare and I'm sitting here in Boyfriend's old plastic shorts with burn holes and my middle school track T-Shirt, yet oddly no one decided to make that outfit. The winner gets their look on a billboard in Time Square. You know with "Calvin Klein models and U2".

Time to sketch! "Bowler Hat" Jason (you remember the guy who wears the hat as intimidation but also dons a fashion corset) wants to make an infinity dress. It seems really short for a dress that is suppose to represent never ending with the number 8. Mondo doesn't sketch but makes a list of what he needs to get at Mood. Included in this list, "pretty little buttons." How can you not love this guy? And, does he have different glasses for everyday?

The designers get to go to Mood for the first time and honestly I don't really pay any attention to what they are talking about because I'm so busy lusting over the HP iPad thingys they get to use. Good product placement Bravo.

The designers get back to the workroom and start creating. Valerie tries to not make her dress look "Ann Taylor" (I'll be the judge of that) and AJ won't help Casanova make his pattern this being a competition and all. I heart Peach's fabric. I heart Mondo's fabric, too. Tim comes in and is worried about Bowler Hat Jason's dress. I would be more worried about him poking an eye out with that bear tooth bracelet he is wearing. Gretchen mentions that Nicholas is coping her winning design from last week because the back of his dress is cut out like her dress last week. "He's ripping me off." Crap Peach's cute fabric won't save her if she uses that skirt. Or that one (she makes like 5).

SURPRISE TWIST!!!

Tim informs the contestants that they will also over see a photo shot of their design so the judges can see how their creations photo. The night quickly ends with Casanova all up Gretchen's butt asking for advice. "He would be incredibly annoying if he wasn't so charming." Then she tries to call him her "bosom buddy" and he doesn't understand. I'm not sure if it's because of the language barrier or just because no one has used the term "bosom buddy" since Louisa May Alcott days. Then again I think Gretchen's from Idaho or something so they might just still be saying bosom buddy. Casanova settles on being a "Hip Buddy". These are the conversations we get to hear in hour and a half long Project Runways. (Oh and Nicholas is still going on and on about his model with "huge tits".)

Runway day!!! Of course everyone is running around trying to finish everything last minute before the photo shot and runway. Ivy's model thinks the dress is a little big, but Ivy say's it's not... but it totally is. Peach calls her dress, "Barbie's sofa". Jason (with his fashion corset) still can't find time to actually sew his dress (even though he's carrying a sewing machine strapped to his waist) and fastens the dress with safety pins.

Lets learn how designers direct photo shots...
Gretchen takes a page out of Tim's book and tells her model to, "make it work".
April says knowingly, "I like hands down."
Nicholas' idea, "maybe one leg up... maybe..."
Casanova says nothing and just waves the entire time.

Runway Show!!! Heidi, Michael, Nina, and Joanna Coles are all perched in their director chairs ready to dispense knowledge and snarky comments.

Nicholas: (Loser) The cape/jacket thing looks like a doormat thrown over her shoulders, and I'm confused on who thinks short/office/fishtail should describe one skirt. It's just not a good combo. The judges just call it "un-sexy" and he is sent home.


Christopher: The yellow trim is nice (I've been on this whole yellow kick all summer), but it seems like he spent all but 30 minutes on the top because the skirt is very boring.


Jason: (Loser): Besides the fact that it's held together by safety pins, his model looks kinda big and uncomfortable. As she is walking down the runway he says, "it's impeccable the way it's sewn." Dude, it's held together with safety pins and in the billboard photo there is a hole above bellybutton. Then when the judges question him he tells them that the safety pins were intentional. Look, bowler hat, fashion corset wearing guy, just admit it that you messed up. Oh, wait it doesn't matter you're going home.


Michael C: Fun, well made, pretty coper color that would look good on a billboard, but it is still safe. This dress has been made 100 time before and doesn't stand out.


AJ: I love the yellow, but I wish people would understand that it goes with other colors besides black. The model has a black belt, black piping, black neckless, and black lips. Just because the dress is yellow doesn't mean she has to look like a bumble bee. Then she starts walking and it rides up at the waist. AJ himself says it best, "it looks like she was impregnated by some weird alien".


Peach: (bottom) First of all, Peach might have the worst model. She almost fell even before she started walking down the runway. I hate this dress. As much as I liked the fabric it was old, boring, and what the heck was that brown chocker??? It was Barbie meets Palm Beach meets Angry Clown. Michael calls it an, "Amish cocktail dress" and although they don't like it, Peach gets to stay another week.


Michael D: This has great potential if Michael would just have bought more fabric. (Come on designers... you are making dresses for women who have legs.) It was hard to tell what exactly the material was, but I love the cut out. It's modern and fun and I would wear it in a heart beat if it covered my ass.


Ivy: It's a beige shift dress... Next. I think she knew it was a snoozefest because the model is loaded with accessories. And that neckless, horrible. (Is it a Christmas wreath? Is it a first grader's craft project? I don't know)


Valerie: (Top) It's defiantly not Ann Taylor, so good job there. And if Valerie made the green dress that she was wearing for the runway I'd say just give her the 100,000 right now. The detailing looks amazing but not over done. The red is a great color for a billboard. Heidi brings up that women feel powerful in red. Nina says it is interesting but simple and she and Joanna agree that it would also make a good cover dress because it frames the face. I totally think Valerie should have won.


Sarah: I feel like this is the same outfit made every season for the Banana Republic/Macys/Real Woman challenge. Then I saw the skirt bib. It's high waisted skirt in the front and a normal skirt in the back hence creating a skirt bib over the model's stomach.


Andy: Cute but a little over done. The purple is pretty and I like the wide leg pants, but the spring sleeve is a little much and I hated the purple strip up the back of the pant legs. Nice try, maybe next time.


Casanova: I'm 80% liking this. Well, maybe 50% because I really just like the white skirt. The navy jacket is boring and old lady. He was probably trying to hard to not go crazy Blake Lively slutty like he did last week, and it just ended up... meh.


Kristen: This is just weird... and off... and wrong... It's preppy in the front and overdone in the back. Plus it looks like the whole outfit shifted or something while it was being made. Maybe the blouse and skirt came from a Lacoste after an earthquake or something.


Gretchen: (winner) NO ONE LOOKS GOOD IN A MOTHER F-ING JUMPSUIT!!! Especially when paired with ankle boots. But Heidi loves that you can slut it up by unzipping the front and the other judges think women of all ages could wear it. I'm sorry Michael, but no 45 year old is going to walk around in a silk jumpsuit with booties!!! Valerie was robbed.


Mondo: (top) I like the skirt. It's herringbone, but young, youthful, and flowy. I don't like the top with it's polka dot bib. Nor do I like the leggings, but I love Mondo so I'm glad the judges think "every women wants to be that girl". Yeah... every 10 year old maybe.


April: This dress is like if Ivy's shift dress met a Minnesota Vikings Linebacker and they had a dress baby. From the feet up, boring, boring, boring, purple football pads.



Next Week: Hooray an unconventional materials challenge!!! Oh, and someone goes to the hospital.