Introducing Ms. Hann And The Fact That Old Navy Doesn't Want Boyfriend's Feet To Be Warm...

Bare with my materialistic post today. I promise next week I’ll have a hilarious embarrassing story to share with you, but not today. Today is all about NOT living with 100 things, but going out into the world of commerce and buying things! (I love being an adult and having money and a pay check…)

I made two significant purchases yesterday on my day off.

The first is this beauty I picked up at the Nordstrom’s Simi Annual Sale. She is Cole Haan and she is my new favorite thing. I’ve wanted a nice bag for a while. And hot damn if this isn’t a beautiful bag. She is the softest black pebbled leather with a gorgeous mahogany lining. The straps are the perfect length for carrying her over your shoulder or across your arms. The gold hardware works perfectly for me because I like and wear gold and it’s not gaudy and there isn’t a lot of it. Have I said she’s soft… she’s really soft.

Before Ms. Haan made it home with me yesterday the most I had ever spent on a handbag was probably 40 bucks, if that. Also, my handbag collection has seen better days, I mean really… it’s sad. When I moved into the new place this summer LSU Friend and I spent a good day going through my closet tossing and donating clothes, shoes, and handbags. I moved to the new place with one black knockoff Coach tote that Jew Boy (who’s not really Jewish, so it’s kinda a weird nickname) bought me on Canal Street in New York. The lining inside is ripping, but it looks better than my baby blue (real) Coach bag that I bought from someone’s car trunk with my old boss. That one is so dirty it more looks like a brown bag with something blue spilled on it. Oh and some Chick-Filet honey mustard sauce leaked in the inside. (Don’t judge me!) I own a canvas tote from Target with yellow straps and also Sister gave me a red satchel also from Target. Actually, when LSU Friend and I were going through all my bags last summer I realized that Sister has given me three purses for Christmas/My Birthday in let’s say the past 8 years and all of them have been red. I also own a silver clutch which I’m pretty sure I stole from my mom, and a black carpet bag that has a fun gold chain as straps, but they always break, so really they aren’t fun. That’s it. That’s my handbag collection. Ms Haan was needed.

After perusing the shoes at Nordstroms and resisting and telling myself I just dropped X amount of money on a handbag, I did what any girl my age would have done… I went to Old Navy. First of all let me point out that Old freaking Navy already has a Christmas tree up in the store and yes, they are already playing holiday music. Really? It was Halloween LAST WEEKEND!!! But I quickly got back into the retail state of mind when I saw on the rack what I was looking for… jeggings.

Yeah, you read that right, Jeggings. For y’all who don’t know what jeggings are (i.e. dad), jeggings are leggings that are made to look like jeans. For the past few years I have been avoiding the leggings trend because just the thought of wearing leggings took me back to elementary school when leggings were the only “bottoms” I would wear. I didn’t wear dresses or skirts or even jeans, I only wore bottoms that were fitted and stretchy and looked cool with my over sized Emmitt Smith T-Shirts and homemade holiday sweatshirts. However, Boyfriend has been begging me to wear leggings ever since he went to Amsterdam with his buddy, Caliman. He came back from the Netherlands all knowledgeable about fashion. This is his wisdom, “All the hot girls in Europe are wearing long shirts and sweater with tall boots and like really, really thick tights…” Once I explained to him that tights are not pants and they are called leggings he has been bothering me for the past two winters to wear leggings. I finally gave in.

I can’t go full legging yet. I’m just not there mentally. But, I was willing to try the whole jegging tread, so I loaded up a couple of styles in multiple sizes (because I never know what size I am at Old Navy) and headed to the dressing room. To my surprise, I didn’t hate them… In fact I kinda like them… a lot. So, I bought them and I’m wearing them right now tucked into the boots Boyfriend bought me while in Amsterdam with a short shirt dress from H&M and a sweater. So, Old Navy come through from me and let me try this trend for a fraction of the Nordstroms price, even during the sale.

Oh, I also learned that the new skinny leg, ankle capri cargo pants all the actresses and models are wearing this season, is not a good look if you have thighs. Just FYI…

Here’s my question for Old Navy… Why don’t they make fun, soft socks for men? You know those socks that I’m talking about… they are made from that synthetic material that feels like angel wings and puppy dog dreams. Old Navy has them every year in fun colors and prints and they make perfect stocking stuffers. Well, they don’t make them for men. Why not? I mean I understand them not having the pink and silver sparkly ones, but why not some blues ones with footballs or something? I say this because for the past week Boyfriend has been stealing my socks. First to go were my elf socks because they are 500 times too big for me and thus actually sorta fit him. Then he moved on to my super soft Bath and Body Works socks, which annoyed me because they will stretch out too much. Then the other day I come home and he is laying on the couch with my multicolored rainbow ankle socks that Best Friend gave me on! WFT Boyfriend?!?! The thick socks I understand, but those ankle socks are no more thick and luscious than any of his plan white boring socks.

This is why I was so excited to see the fun socks at Old Navy. In my mind I thought, “I’ll buy him his own and then he’ll leave mind alone.” You see this is the problem with sharing a sock drawer, he thinks everything in it should belong to him. Um, no Boyfriend. So I walk to the men’s side of the store and find no socks. So, I found someone and asked them where the fun, super soft, holiday men’s socks are and the sales chick looked right at me and said, “Why would anyone want those?”

I wanted to scream at her, "Because my boyfriend is super weird!" but instead I just walked away thinking how bad a sales associate she was...