In case you’ve been living under a rock or trapped in some freaky guys basement, BuzzFeed did at list of 30 Signs You’re Almost 30. Now trust me, I LOVE me some BuzzFeed lists. Like I’ll read any of them. Dumbest Shirts At a Glenn Beck Rally? Read it.13 Punctuation Marks You Never Knew Existed? I know they exist now! But I have to say I don’t think BuzzFeed got this one right at least not all right.
Here is my list of 30 Signs You’re Almost 30.
1. You wonder if wearing pig tails outside of your house makes you look cute or just like that creepy old lady who is trying to fit in with the kids.
2. Instead of drunken party photos, your Facebook friends are all about the baby pics. (I’m keeping this one because yes, my “Facebook Friends” are all about the baby pics. My actual friends though... we fucking LOVE us a good drunken photo.
3. At some point on a Sunday while drinking Bloody Mary’s and Mimosas to overcome your hangover one of your friends will suggest you sign up for the Color Run or Zombie Run or Drill Sergeant, Obstacle Course, Some Scary Man Will Yell At You Every Four Minutes But It Will Be Awesome Because You’ll Get a Free T Shirt Run.
4. You get so excited for nostalgic concerts like The BackStreet Boys or New Kids on the Block that you won’t even care you’re there with a bunch of fat housewives who chat about the new skinny queso dip they pinned on Pinterest and how far away they had to park in between songs.
5. You start a story with “When I was in college and super skinny...” and realize that was 10 years ago and maybe it’s time to forgive your metabolism for skipping out on you and give up drinking so many calories.
6. You idolize the movie Bridesmaids because fuck all those engaged happy people and you’re pretty sure that if Kristen Wiig knew you, y’all would be best friends.
7. You pick bars that have good seating and wear flats when you “go out” on the weekends.
8. You completely understand the frustration between not making enough money and how much job hunting blows.
9. You've learned the art of preparing for things. Going out on Friday night? Make sure you have cleared a path from your front door to your bed to your toilet. Invited to a baby shower? Fill small flask with vodka and hide in purse. Meeting ex-boyfriend from college for civilized lunch? Wear sluttiest day dress possible and Spanks and (of course) be completely fabulous.
10. You always read the book before the movie.
11. That old Friends episode about how Monica, Ross, and Chandler had plenty of money for a fancy birthday dinner and Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe were so broke they had to share side salads resonates with you every weekend. Seriously! You’re buying a house and I can’t afford $2.50 beer night?
12. You have a dog and you think he/she is your baby. Like you vaginally birthed a furry, smooched face pug.
13. You’ve started planning your vacations around your airline and hotel points.
14. Who the fuck is AnnaSophia Robb?!?! Her name is Sarah Jessica Parker! Duh!
15. You definitely lost the enzyme that lets you digest Taco Bell (true statement Buzzfeed) and also the enzyme that helps with copious amounts of alcohol consumption.
16. You will never understand the appeal of New Direction.
17. You've said no to going out because you’ve already taken your bra off, your dog is being all snugly, there is an America’s Next Top Model marathon on TV, and you've just decided doing things after 5 on a Friday is really hard...
18. You’ve experienced the dreaded TWO DAY hangover - This totally exists. And if beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy, the TWO DAY hangover is proof Satan is a sick mother fucker.
19. You realize your parents were your age (or younger!) when they had you, and you kinda feel bad for them.
20. You start judging yourself as your number gets bigger and bigger.
21. Your mouth falls open when you hear that people born in the 1990s can now legally drink. THE 90s!!!
22. You get really angry when you go into stores like Forever21 and American Eagle because you have to buy size 12 pants instead of a 6. I mean I already feel kinda creepy shopping at a store at wants to arrest my growth at age 21, but I’m not an XL just because I have boobs!
23. Your parents have stopped helping you buy expensive purchases like furniture and computers.
24. You’ve started actually taking off your makeup every night and have started reading and thinking about neck creams and eye wrinkle reducers.
25. You know that Club Soda has less calories than Tonic Water.
26. When you get a bonus at work your immediate happiness is muffled by that nagging voice in the back of your head that says, “put this in your savings account/pay off your students loans and credit cards instead of running out and buying a new pair of Frye boots.” Damn that voice. She sounds a lot like my mom...
27. You routinely fall asleep at parties.
28. You’ve stopped fantasizing about having a “grown up” job and started daydreaming about winning the lottery.
29. Men are still boys and they say dumb, inappropriate things.
30. Emma Stone sums it all up... 
Oh, and here is the link to the original BuzzFeed in case you'd like to compare... http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/30-signs-youre-almost-30
